I don't know what I'm talking about

Fcuk

Yes
No
Yes I was right
NO it can't be happening
Because I feel it I fucking feel it
And he doesn't
I feel something and I know he doesn't feel it and OW SOW OW
I know if he knew how he was making me feel he would feel awful because that's just who he is and he care s
And I care
Too much.
And I have to stop talking to him I have to just
Go because when it was just a dumb crush I could take it oh yes
But now I need it to leave
I need to get out
And it's irrational and stupid and it's going to hurt both of us but I like to believe it's helping
At least me
And he'll think he ruined another friendship because he blames things on himself and all he wants is for people to be happy
And he might live thinking it was his fault he lost the friendship and oh god finn not another friend gone
But I'll let him know I'll follow him on wattpad or something and he'll see
No it's not him I have to get out
I have to distract
I need a girl I need sex I need drugs I need a blade and I need to slit my wrists and fall back into something I got out of
I need a distraction from the inevitable because I asked my cousin what love felt like
And she said you'll know it when you feel it and oh god I know it
I fuckingk ow it
I need sex I need meaningless good sex and then I need to talk until 2am until we slowly fall in love and I know it can't be finn
I know it cant be him
But it can be someone
Someone has to feel it
One day someone will feel it for me and I'll feel the same
And I know it won't be finn
It's 10:16pm on Tuesday April 4
And I have to accept it won't be finn