Hey. It's Betty, again. I know you're tired listening and I'm tired too. Tired of talking, tired of living. Anyways, this is not about my complains as a depressed girl. Have any of you ever felt too attached to someone or too dependent on someone that once they leave, you begin to hate everyone. Yeah like, trust issues. They even start to hate you for being by their side.
Polly stopped, she knew it was hers and she's ready. She hated how she had pushed her away the years before she had the twins.
Polly, I know you hate me and there's no need to keep it from anyone. At some point, everyone hates their siblings. But your hatred was different, I knew it. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry I attached myself to you. That night of your fifteenth birthday, you just made your hate official. You humiliated me in front of your friends, dropping my drink just because I asked you if you'd want to help me out plan my birthday in a few months. But it's okay. You were right. I did learn to be on my own, have my own friends without your help and stand on my two feet. The day I dated Chuck Clayton, I was happy. In a way, I was because I finally felt what it was like to be you. Dating jocks, becoming the talk of the school and basically, live your life.
She sighed, heavily and filled with guilt. She had built this high pedestal and for Betty, it became her aspirations too because of it. She saw how much Betty tried to avoid being labeled as the golden girl of the family. She stood quiet at every party or event and let her take the spotlight. But, everything changed after she was sent to that home for troubled girls. She was forced to take her spot for her and she wasn't there to see her stand on her own feet.
And I gotta say, I'm happy I changed lifestyles because it was shitty, no offense. I'm happy that I don't have to go through bunch of idiots everyday, you know. Now, I know that you're not perfect and I get that's why maybe you hated hanging with me. You're happy with what you attained and you weren't planning to be better. Maybe, I wanted to not be perfect just like you were but I learned to find closure after you came back.
The audio stopped, making her believe that it was finished. But when she glanced again, it will still go on for 5 more minutes. She had no other choice but to play it if she wanted to know what and who caused her sister to go off the edge to take a bunch of her medication pills and kill herself.
But then, I decided to open up, you thought it was a thing that wasn't at all serious. Well, I think that me being dead isn't all serious right Polly? "Oh Betty, you're overacting!" Yeah, totally because my depression, my anxiety and even my dissociative personality are all just a thing I put in my head! I guess, I'll never have the closure that I want even if I'm all the way under here. But I don't want you to feel like I'm laying this big burden on you by blaming you but no, at least everyone on these files killed me. And I hope you're okay over there. With the twins. Tell them that their aunt Betty loves them and that she wishes to be there. But she has demons to fight. Love you.
Her sigh brought along tears to stream down her face. She's the one who drove her to where she is now...under a grave. She hated how she could've apologized for it but instead it had to make her lose the one person that was constant in her life. She was too far up on her own pedestal that she'd completely forgotten about her sister. The one who got her out of the home for troubled girls, that helped her find a home when she came back.
She quickly wiped the tears from her face the moment Alice walked in the room. She sat quietly as Alice looked at her, worryingly.
"Hey, mom. Did you know I killed Betty?" Her sobs made it hard for her to speak while Alice took a seat next to her, caressing her daughter's back.
"Look, no matter how much you failed her, you were still her sister. She still loves you, Polly. You know, when you were at the home, she couldn't get you off her mind even if you say that you failed her. She tries her best to find you and find herself in the process. Well, she did find herself. She found her love for journalism and writing, our bond became stronger. Plus, she even found someone who loves her so much that he'd reach the stars and moon for her. And she wouldn't learn about them if it wasn't for you. She loves you and never ever doubt that. But, as much as we cared and loved her, it wasn't enough to save her. We learn, Polly, that sometimes the things we think are enough for someone to know you're there aren't really sufficient to let them know you're really by their sides."
She calms down and gives Alice a sheepish smile. She headed out to see the twins and she was happy that she'd named the girl as Elizabeth. It was somehow comforting that through her daughter, she feels the love from Betty.
♡
APRIL 4, 2019
MAGNOLIA GARDENS MALL
"Follow me, Pol!" Betty yelled with a few giggles as Polly shook her head laughing, as well.
Betty was running while she was forcing her to run, as well. But she couldn't since she was too tired from walking around the mall for hours. But, Betty kept running and running and she couldn't stop her. While she was still running, a car nearly hit Betty. If the car stopped a second late, it could've ended her life too early, at only sixteen years old. Now, Polly was running as much as it was hard for her to run, she had to. When she reached her sister, she stood there as the car took off, unshaken.
She stood there like nothing happened as if she wanted this but she shook the idea off because making her sister safe was the number one priority.
"What the hell happened!" She bursted at her sister, who was acting like nothing at all happened.
Betty rolled her eyes in reply, "You know what! I want to go now."
"We're not leaving unless you tell me why the hell you didn't stop when a car nearly hit you?!" Polly was raging and Betty knew that. But Betty was prideful person she is, continued to walk away until both of them reached their vehicle.
"Elizabeth! I'm talking to you!"
"Fine! I wanted to die, Polly, okay? If I hear one more word, I won't ride this car at all." Betty threatened, while Polly pretended that she wasn't really shocked.
They drove off, having this wall of silence between them. That wall lasted for two more months and the way that wall was banished wasn't really how she wanted it to happen.
♡
OCTOBER 2, 2019
COOPER RESIDENCE
"Um, hey, Polly. Could you maybe...Uh" Veronica's line was a bit shaky and Polly was worried because she sounded like she was in trouble.
"Veronica, are you alright?" Hinting a worry tone at Veronica, who was at the other line.
Her answer made her jaw drop, "I-I'll be there in a few and I'll also contact mom on the way."
She made an immediate call to the twins' babysitter while she called her mother immediately after.
"Mom, they found Carmen unconscious on the floor of the gymnasium. Veronica told me she's in Room 277, text me if you arrive there."
Her mother replied with a worrisome tone but instead of contradicting any further, she agreed and headed out her way to the hospital where her niece was confined.
YOU ARE READING
thirteen reasons why ↣ riverdale
Fanfiction❝i hope you're ready, 'cause im about to tell you the story of my life, more specifically why my life ended and if you're listening to these tapes, you're one of the reasons why.❞ ♡ When Riverdale's girl...
