Hello Sergeant (Bucky Barnes)

Hard conversations

Sarah's POV

Even though I was exhausted, I forced myself to stay awake until Steve got back here tonight. I really needed to talk to him alone now that he'd seen James and talked to him. I heard James get in the shower, so that meant Steve'd went back to his place to shower. I didn't know what I was all going to tell Steve, and my tangled emotions helped keep me awake.

I looked up as the bedroom door opened to see Steve letting himself in. He was surprised to see me sitting up on the bed, not even under the covers. "I didn't think you'd still be awake," he said quietly as he shut the door behind himself. "Is something wrong?"

"I needed to talk to you alone," I said. "There's some things you should know about Bucky, Steve."

He sat down on the bed next to me. "That doesn't sound good."

"I'll let you decide that. The first thing you should know is that Bucky has some huge memory issues. From what we've learned, Hydra didn't treat him very well for the 67 years he was in their hands."

He opened his mouth to speak, and I held up one hand, cutting him off. I needed to say this before I got upset over it again.

"They kept Bucky in cryofreeze and mind-wiped him constantly, Steve – constantly – so they could keep control of him," I said, looking over at him. He was struggling to keep it together and I took his hand in mine. "Basically he's been a Hydra assassin for the last 60-some years."

"Sarah," Steve let out a choked noise and I let him pull me into his arms.

"He doesn't always remember who I am; he still thinks I'm Peggy about half the time. Jace and I took him to the museum to show him the Captain America exhibit."

"Did...did it help him remember?"

I made a 'sort of' motion. "Yes and no, it triggered some new memories that only you could've validated – but the next day, he didn't remember anything about you." Steve held me tighter in response. "He didn't know your name, who you were, nothing. I just want you to be prepared for the worst, Steve. He might not know who you are in the morning." I looked up, watching the expressions flitting across his handsome face.

Steve kissed my forehead before resting his head on mine. "I wish I could've gotten back sooner. I'm so sorry you've had to try to help him on your own; Jace and Nat could only help so much."

"Here's where it gets interesting – he remembers Jace just fine in the mornings, but he didn't know Jace 70 years ago. Natasha he knows as Natalia Romanova – and they used to be involved, by the way."

Steve shifted so he could see my face. "You're serious."

"As a heart attack."

"Bucky... and Nat?"

"Yup. They're pretty intense, too." I shifted so I was straddling him and put my arms around his neck so I could look at him while I was talking to him.

He shook his head. "I'll believe it when I see it. I'm just so happy to have him back. Who'd have thought he could've survived that fall? I can't believe you found him and recognized him." I grabbed my phone finding the picture I'd taken in Kiev and showing him. "This is Bucky?"

"Yeah...you should probably know the rest of the story." I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. "Well, when I first met Bucky and got him to talk to me, he thought I was Peggy."

"Understandable," he said with a smile. "Every now and then I mess up, too."

"I know; but he wouldn't believe that I wasn't her, Steve. How would you describe Peggy and Bucky's relationship back in '45?"