Sometimes, you see something and it changes you. I know that it sounds like a profound hyperbole but, it happens. Sometimes all you want to do is protect people from yourself and you do that because you know what you're capable of. You know how dangerous and toxic this numbness inside you is; how powerful it is. It is vast; it is so big it makes the galaxy a pinprick inside your brain; there is no other world except yours and no one else is allowed in it. No one can pass the barriers without paying the fine which is exorbitantly high. In fact it is so high that you refuse to let people in because you know that they'll be paying for it for the rest of their lives. It is so high that you'll forever be paying for the sins of all those who waltz inside. This life is one big hyperbole. An over-dramatised mess that you pay for until some people are forced to stop paying; or choose to stop paying. Blame is a powerful sword that we should all wield carefully. Guilt is a heavy sack that we should all learn to carry. You can't get mad if someone tells you not to worry but you will anyway. How can you not worry when there's so much hurt? How can you not worry when you know just how much damage your words can cause?
How can you not worry when you've got chalk dust all over your eyes forming a translucent screen that I cannot see through to read your brain? If I've ever hurt you; if I've ever left you; if I've ever seemed irrational, moody, delusional to you, it's not your fault. I've programmed my thoughts into thinking a certain way and I can't seem to go back. In my mind, everything that I've done is to protect you from me.
I'm trying to right my wrongs but there are just too many and hopefully, I haven't done any lasting damages.
