The Struggles Of Living The Wattpad Life

Cliche Romance On Wattpad

Before I get started, I wanted to say thank you to all ya'll who commented on my ideas chapter! You guys gave me a ton of ideas and even some inspiration for my own chapters! I couldn't thank ya'll enough:-) 

Also, I'm going to try and stop saying y'll all the time- I'm sounding Texan in a bloody black-and-white book.

Anyway, on with the chapter!

So, let me start by saying I'm a sucker for a good romance. I love all that gut wrenching hurt a character feels when she/he loves someone and he/she feels something that causes conflict- and I love writing it. But sometimes, people go a bit overboard with the usual cliche situations. 

You know when the main character makes eye contact with it's love interest for the first time and suddenly an explosion goes off in their mind and their gut feels funny and not even five seconds in they're horny for this random stranger whom they feel connected to by their soul?

Example:

I gazed into the eyes of the pizza man I had only just met. Holding my large, extra pepperoni and triple cheese pizza, he seemed hotter than the moment I had opened the door. Suddenly, as he handed me my pizza and asked for my fifteen dollars, I knew- he was the one. I could feel it in my gut. I needed him. 

At this point, these characters need to listen to a wise woman named Elsa- you can't marry a man you just met. 

And these type of stories only get worse when either of the two think the other feels the same deep love that they do, while the other person is desperately trying to escape their 'loving' attention. 

Example:

He chased the girl around in the football field. "The wait is over, Gigi! We can be together! I know you love me as I do you- I see you staring at me in the lunchroom!" He shouted, trying his best to pull her into an embrace. 

The woman groaned. "For the last time, Jimmy, I'm married to three men already and I'm dating a woman!" She grunted. "Now go away before I call on of my rich, buff husband to beat you up!"

Oh, and that brings up another point- when one person thinks the only reason the other wants to be with them is because he/she is extremely rich. 

Example:

"Barbra, I love you- I always have!" Bill cried, grabbing her shoulders. "Do you love me back?"

Barbra scoffed. "Please, Bill, you only want my money. Good day." She snapped, turning away and walking into her large mansion. Bill died of heart break the next morning because he actually loved her and not everyone of a greedy prick like stupid Barbra.

But, out of all of these romantic cliches, think my favorite cliche of all time is the 'I'm going to leave town forever because we broke up and we can't be together so I'm going to sulk my way out of your life for payback' cliche. 

Example:

"Well, Wendy, we broke up. I'm going to move to Rome and start a tie business and never see you again." Peter said with a smile, pretending to be heartbroken about the news. "Toota-loo, Wendy!" He called, hopping on the double-decker bus waiting for him.  

Wendy sobbed as he left. But all was not lost- as she would travel to Rome because of her sadness and they would make up and have a child in Rome because things got steamy when he put on the new purple velvet tie his company had made just for him. Wendy loved purple. 

Now, let's not forget about the fan fiction romance cliche- in which every character ever in that fictional universe is a potential love interest- weather they are married or dating someone else.

Example:

"Oh, hey, Bucky." I said, opening my hotel door.

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LET'S HAVE BABIES!" Bucky shouted, pulling me into a hug. 

Behind him, Steve Rogers had tears in his eyes. "BUCKKKKY YOU PLUM! I LOVED HER FIRST!" He shouted, throwing a temper tantrum on the floor. 

Bucky hissed like a cat and held me possessively. 

Sam Wilson screamed like a falcon from the place beside Steve. "BUT I LOVED HER TOO!" He snapped, kicking Steve in the shin vengefully. 

Clint Barton swooped down from the ceiling. "I love you too, even though I am married." He smiled and pointed behind him. "Also, Natasha has a lesbian crush on you."

Natasha giggled from under my bed. 

Suddenly, Thor crashed through the roof holding his hammer. "I broke up with Jane because I felt such a deep love for you!" He cried, threatening to punch Bucky who was still hissing at people like a cat with rabies. 

Loki waltzed into the room. "I quite like this mortal." He smirked, placing a hand on my head. "I should like to keep you."

Peitro came back from the dead. "I loved her before you did as a ghost, you all loose." He claims, crossing his arms and blowing raspberries at Tony Stark who had just tried to kiss me out of his heartfelt love.

A dalek came form legit nowhere. "I LOVE THE WOMAN TOO I AM EXPERENCING A EMOTION WE CANNOT FEEL. LOVE. LOOOOOOVE."

"SCREW YOU, STUPID BEINGS!" Ultron says from the hole in the roof. "I LOVE HER AS WELLL!"

At that moment all the X-Men, the entire SHIELD organization, Hydra, the rest of the Avengers, A.I.M., and a random X-Wing all confessed their love for me through blowing a bunch of kisses. 

"Wow!" I explained, patting Bucky's head so he would stop hissing and getting spit all over my face. "I had no idea you all loved me so much! And an X-Wing, even a dalek, too! They must have crossed dimensions again, silly peeps!!"

"Who you you choose to be your wed, mortal?" Loki smiled, expecting it to be him.

"Oh, me? No, I don't like any of you, actually. See I originally liked Bucky but then I liked Steve and Sam at the same time but then I also liked Clint but then I really liked Bruce and then I had a thing for Loki but then after that I saw Ultron and it was pretty sexy in my mind but then I laid eyes on Bucky again and then on Natasha and Clint but now I just like my pet cat." I explain. "I didn't mean to start a civil war."

Steve cried in a corner. "ENOUGH WITH THE PUNS." He screams. "NO MORE CIVIL WAR PUNS! JUST LET ME DIE IN THE NEXT WAR BEFORE THE PUNS START."

Professor X giggled. "You don't have to wait long before your death. Someone's contract runs out pretty soon." He whispered.

Upon hearing this news, Bucky broke down in tears, screaming and kicking. And he scolded Steve for existing the rest of the day. I proceeded to sulk in self pity because no one loves me and I am ugly. The end. 

Okay, that example was way to long but I had way to much fun writing it so who cares. I also very much apologize to those non-Marvel fans who have no idea what I'm talking about half the time. I should probably tone it down a bit.

In the end, what we learned from this is that I love writing romance cliches and romance cliches can get very annoying very fast- so, if you plan to write a romance story, make sure to tone down on the 'love at first sight'. It gets old, and that plot is reserved for fairy tales.

Thank you to the lovely @VioletBalards for the inspiration for this chapter! And if you have any ideas, you can suggest them in the 'Submit Your Ideas' chapter, right after this one! The chapter is only going to remain up for a few more days- so get your ideas out there if you have any!

Until next time, there are no strings on me.

-Elise