The Struggles Of Living The Wattpad Life

Cliches On Wattpad

I swear to the King of Potatoes, I am sick.

I have a massive headache, I can't write if my life depended on it, the biggest word I can spell is like, tomato, and I can't find my glasses or my contacts so I'm blind and I really don't give a single solitary turd about anything.

I was so freaking tired this morning that I sat at my screen after my mom called the school saying I was sick, and started having a debate with myself whether 'Buchanan' was spelled with an E or an A. I was betting myself that it was spelled with an E because I thought I was a smart poo.

Spoiler: it was not spelled with an E and I was a dumb poo.

I also stared to bleed like a waterfall out of my woman potato while I was feeling like a had been hit by a truck so I couldn't just lay in my bed- I had to get up every four hours to change my noodle.

But hey, at least I'm not pregnant. It's not like I have a sex life, but thank you for reminding me I'm single, uterus.

I was also at Great Wolf Lodge this weekend and I am still worn out from riding all those stupid rides with those stupid 4000000000 steps and carrying the stupid inner tubes up those 4000000000 steps for a 5 second ride.

I am going to ignore the fun I had and instead complain and whine because I am a teenager and that's what teenagers do- or so I am told by Buzzfeed and social media.

I got three giraffes and named them Steve, Bucky, and Clint because my best friend's name is Sam and he would never let me live down the fact that I named my stuffed giraffe after him. Why must I have a friend who has the same name as Falcon, Nova, and like, every other superhero ever?

I can't even think of any more superheroes with the name Sam when usually I can name more than 10- I am so freaking sick and I hate it. 

I'm also currently obsessed with Off To The Races, Scars To Your Beautiful, and Carmen, so I've been listening to those non-stop.

Anyway, now that I've updated you on my life, let's get into this chapter: Cliches. I knew I needed to have this chapter in this book, but when I was thinking of different ways to write it, I decided I'd go with this idea: take every single genre on Wattpad and write out the most popular cliche's from that genre.

So, without further introduction, here are all the genres on Wattpad and their cliches.

Action:

Survival. That's all I've ever known. I can't blame myself- I'm a girl who was abandoned at birth and learned how to shoot a gun at three months old. My mother and father were killed in front of my eyes. I killed my own brother to put him out of his pain and suffering. I am alone, and I shun anyone who could possibly care for me.

The people who killed my parents are after me now that I'm sixteen- and I'll find a boy my age along the journey of running who will be the only one I let love me for some unknown reason. This boy's face claim is Shawn Mendes. My face claim is Victoria Justice. This is my unique, never-been-done-before story.

Adventure:

I escaped my home for reasons I am to scared to talk about, in fear that they, the bad people, will hear. I am a blonde, short, skinny, and shy girl that can somehow take down an entire army of zombies without breaking into a sweat. Why- zombies, you ask? Yes, zombies. 

This is it, the apocalypse. 

And no, before you ask, I have never imagined a dragon.

Along the way of kicking zombie butt and getting to some sort of jungle somewhere where there's a gem that can stop all of the dead, I meet this super hot boy who's face claim is probably Grant Gustin or Chris Pratt. The zombies kill everyone except us. Also, we will make love in a tree, and end up saving the universe just in the nick of time. This is my unique, never-been-done-before story.