Can't Help Fallin' For You ~CaptainSwan Fanfiction

Chapter 23: ...And Goodbye

Emma's P.O.V:

"Swan, let me explain," he says, starting to come over to me.

"No... no it seems pretty clear to me," I answer, backing up.

"But-"

"How could you do this?" I ask quietly, the tears falling.

"Swan, I had an attraction to her, and I- I acted on it, but I love you, please," he says.

"Why didn't you just tell me that! I would have understood and I'm sure you would've felt better about it too! Instead, I was beating myself up in New York telling myself that you didn't feel anything for her, that you'd never do anything like this!"

"How was I supposed to know how you'd react?! I wouldn't be able to bear, sitting across the table from you, knowing I'd felt attracted to another woman!"

"You lean on me, Killian, and you trust me! I get it, you're attracted to her, but kissing her?! We could have talked about it, I would have visited sooner, we have to stop hiding things from each other!"

"I-I don't know what else to say..." Killian answers quietly.

"I'm going back home," I whisper, biting my lip. I avoid his eyes, turning to leave.

"Swan, please wait," Killian pleads grabbing my arm gently. I whip around angrily.

"No! No, I will not wait! I trusted you, Killian, you know how hard that is for me to do! This is exactly why I have my walls, to protect me from situations like this- situations where the people I love break my heart. You broke down those walls for me, Killian, you taught me to trust, but it was a mistake. Because now you've broken me, too," I say, angry tears falling down my face.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry, Emma, I don't know what came over me, I-"

"When you gave me this ring," I cut him off, referring to my promise ring, "You said you'd love me 'till the end of time, through life and death. You promised me that. You promised me to be loyal, and trustworthy... You said Milah wasn't the one, so you never gave it to her... that I was 'the one' and I should wear it. I think you gave it to the wrong girl," I whisper.

"Emma, please, what are you doing?" Killian asks in fear.

I slowly slip the ring off my finger, staring at it sadly as tears refuse to stop falling. I look back up at Killian feeling empty sadness. I take his hand, opening his hand up and placing the ring inside.

"Please don't do this," he whispers, a single tears trickling down his cheek.

"I have to," I answer, closing my eyes as the enormity of the decision falls on my shoulders.

"Why?" he whispers.

"Because love you. I always have, and I always will. I want you to be happy. And if you're not happy with me-"

"Swan-"

"Let me finish. I don't want to be the thing holding you back if you have feelings for... her. So no matter how mad or pissed at you, I am, no matter how heartbroken, no matter how stupid, I feel for letting my walls down... I want you to be happy. Even if it isn't with me," I whisper, a sad smile overcoming my face.

"But I love you," Killian says, stepping closer to me.

It takes everything not to give in. To forget it all.

But I can't.

He deserves the time and space to figure out who he loves, what he wants.

"I love you too. And that's what makes this so difficult," I say, hot tears still spilling from my eyes.

I stare up into Killian's eyes, wishing, only wishing, that once he makes his choice, it will be me. I lean up, cupping his cheeks with my hands and desperately pulling his lips to mine one last time.

He kisses me back immediately, holding me close to him, and I nearly sob knowing I may never have this again.

"I'm sorry," I mumble against his lips. "I had to do that... just one more time," I say, stepping away again. "You need to sort out how you feel, whether it be for me or her, I don't care, just take the time to figure out what you want," I tell him. 

"I want you," he says. I sigh, closing my eyes and letting slip more tears.

"Maybe, but in some way, you want her too."

"How long are you staying?" he asks quietly.

"I meant to stay a week but... I'll be leaving first flight I can get. Don't think about me, just worry about making your choice... and if it's me, well... then we can talk. I'll be waiting. You know where to find me," I answer, turning my back to him.

"Wait, where will you go, now?" Killian asks. I can hear the worry in his voice.

"Doesn't matter. You don't need to know," I answer simply, my back still to him. I refuse to let any more tears fall.

"Emma..."

"Goodbye, Killian."

I leave the room, closing the door behind me, and then I truly break. I fall to the ground, my back hitting the door behind me, and I let my face fall into my hands as hot tears soak them.

Why does making the right choice have to hurt so damn much? I ask myself as I stare up at the ceiling.

I rise, wiping away my tears and leave the bar, my breath still shaky.

"It did not go too well, I take it?" Marcelle asks. I smile sadly.

"No... it didn't. But thank you for your help," I reply with a teary smile.

"Of course," he answers, taking my hand into his and kissing it. "Good day Miss Swan."

Killian's P.O.V:

"Killian, it's okay, I told you before, she isn't worth your time," Carter says, coming up behind me and wrapping her arms around my waist. I shove her off.

"She is worth everything!" I shout. "I told you I didn't want to be with you, I fired you because I knew being around you would take things too far. I knew I was attracted to you and I couldn't work with that because I love her! I was going to propose to her when I went back home! But no, you and your destructive ass had to show up here anyway and destroy the one thing I cherish most in the world, my relationship with Emma!"

"Well she's gone now, so what does it matter?!" Carter asks, coming closer again.

"You think you're more worth my time than she is?" I seethe.

"Yes," she answers.

"The woman I love just left me. Maybe some of it was because she was angry and hurt but most of it was because she wanted me to be happy. Do you understand that?! I just broke her heart, because of you, and all she wants is my happiness. How could you possibly measure up to that!" I shout.

"Maybe I'm your happiness," Carter answers angrily.

"I assure you, you are not! I've loved Emma since the moment I laid my eyes on her and I'm not going to bloody lose her now because of you! Get out, get out here, now!" I shout.

"You still have to make a choice Killian. It's me or her."

"I pick her faster than a heartbeat. You distracted me from that, and now she's hurt like hell! I have to fix this. Now leave!"

"Fine," she says, fuming. "But don't come running to me when she doesn't take you back."

"Wouldn't dream of it," I growl. "She will take me back..." I whisper once Carter has gone. "She has to."

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WHOOP WHOOP THAT'S TWO UPDATES IN A ROW IN LESS THAN A HALF HOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So uh... hehe... yeah...

Thoughts?

Hope you guys enjoyed that... hehe.

Love you all!

~Your R.M.B Queen.