Secret Files PH

MY BEAUTIFUL WHAT IF

Dear Marie,

The first time I saw you, I already noticed your smile. Your smile, your eyes, your straight hair, your head turner face makes me realize that you are beautiful physically. But more than your physical beauty, your unique personality, your exceptionality craziness, and you are one of the bravest, brilliant and bolder person I ever known. That's the time I realize that there is something special in you. It took me months to gain you from a simple colleague to a friend. I never thought that you will be that important to me. But God has its own way of showing that you are a blessing and inspiration to me.

"It is the START of the splendid days, the moment I knew and understood you
You are a snobbish person that makes me wonder how lovable you are inside
And wondering then how can I become a friend to someone like you
The only way I think then is to crack jokes to you
To make you smile, makes me smile from my heart"

Days, weeks and months we became closer to each other. We always been together. We eat together. We laugh together. We share our sentiments and opinions on current issues. We love to eat chicharon together even if it is not good for us. We help each other in our work related activities. We accompany each other whenever we wanted to get our salary at the atm. We check our learner's works together. We share our problems and share solutions. We love doing photography. We are travel buddy. We are food buddy, I remember every time we eat in Jollibee I will always order your favorite S3 (Spaghetti, Burger, fries and cup of coke) and if it is in McDo I will order you Chicken Fillet, a cup of coke and regular fries. We talk, text and chat for months.

"There is NOTHING in this world that could compare to you
Not even a luxury car nor a multi-million house
Not even a diamond nor a gold
But one thing is for sure you are an air in my life"

From our nonsense things to deep conversation. From jokes to witty things. I never knew I would learn to love you because you are not what I was looking for, actually you were totally opposite of my standards. But things went by you acted like my girlfriend/little sister/possessive girl towards me. I thought you felt the same feelings but you are just like that towards a person who makes you feel better and gives attention and affection to you.

And from that time on you turn ordinary days to extraordinary one. I always looking forward for your happiness and happenings. Looking forward for your killer smile. That is also the time I realized that your presence means a lot in my life.

"My goal is to be your man but situation never permits.
You changed me and I am ready to be a better man for you.
I wrote your name in the sky but the wind blew it away.
So I wrote your name in my heart.
To keep you safe and guard you forever."

And things were getting worse, we always fight for shallow reasons and you always said that you had limitations in forgiving a person, but what I saw was that you want to be away from you. And if you asked, I will grant it anyway, but what was painful was that you made feel confused and unclear.

Today, I decided to let you go, not only for me but for the benefit of us. I decided to let you go, for a new life and new beginnings of us in separate ways. I also decided to stop bothering because every time we crossed our path, I can still feel the pain in you, and the anger in your eyes towards that unwanted incident. I decided to let you be and give you the distance that you needed in order for us to be healed and start again.

I am still hoping that someday when, we crossed our path again we are fully healed and you can accept my deepest and sincere "SORRY" for the wrong things I have done. I already forgiven myself and you for unclear circumstances and unanswered questions.

I have forgiven you because of one simple reason you bring out the best version of me and you give meaning and direction on it. You taught me how to prioritize things. You taught me how to make plans and timeline in my goals. You taught me how handle girl's mood swings. You taught me how to budget my money wisely. You taught me how to be strong in the middle of the storm. Thank you for that.

And hoping when that day come our friendship/relationship will start again not as an immature individual but that time we are mature and ready to face the world again as an elder brother and little sister/as a best buddies/lovers.

I am SORRY for the things that makes you feel I am the worst person to deal with. All the pains, the anger and bad memories that I gave you. I will always remember from you the things I've learned, the experiences and the best things you have taught me. And for that you will always be MY BEAUTIFUL WHAT IF.

LOVE,

Magnificent Man

MAGNIFICENT MAN
2006
Education