“Ya! There you are.” You said
as you managed to find
Jongdae, your so -called -best -
friend. The boy lifted his head
up to look at you, his lips
curled upwards to form that
sweet smile you’ve always
adored. He was sitting alone
on the wooden bench under a
shady tree where both of you
used to spend your free time
together.
Smiling brightly at him in reply,
you made your way towards
him & settled yourself down
right next to him.
“Hey~”
You greeted him, still smiling
like you always did. “Hey.” He
replied shortly before turning
his gaze from you to the book
he was holding.
Jongdae was holding a thick
book on his left hand while his
other hand was holding a pen.
He started to write something
once he got his attention
attached to it. You stared at
him for awhile, eyeing his face
from the side. You smiled
softly as you stared at him
without your own
acknowledge. You’ve been
developing a crush on him
since God –knows –when. And
now, you were starting to
imagine you & him were
cuddling on the couch.
Jongdae stopped writing &
shifted his head to your side.
He looked at you in confusion
as you were staring at him
while smiling softly. He waved
his hand right in front of your
face but you were zoning out.
Then, he smacked your head
lightly to gain your attention.
“Ouch!”
You whined as you were
brought back to the reality.
Jongdae was chuckling while
you were blinking your eyes
innocently at him. His laugh;
you love to hear it. It was a
some kind of happiness.
“Am I that handsome ‘til you
can’t take your eyes off me?”
Jongdae joked as he poked
your nose using his pen. You
scoffed while rolling your eyes
& placed both of your hands
on your shoulder in reply. “I
wasn’t staring at you because
of that. In fact, Luhan is
handsomer than you.” You
answered, still rolling your
eyes. Luhan was one of your
friends too.
‘Sure, Luhan is the handsomest
but to me, you’re cute,
Jongdae.’ You thought as he
smiled when he heard your
statement.
“Oh? So .. Why are you looking
at me like that?” Jongdae asked
while raising one of his
eyebrows & smirked at you.
You opened your mouth to
speak but those words you
wanted to say won’t come out
so you shut your mouth & gave
him a shrug as a reply. He
smiled again & ruffled your
hair into a mess.
“Ya!” You smacked him in the
arm lightly & fixed your hair.
‘Man, he's a troll. Why am I
friends with this dork,
anyway?’ You thought to
yourself, rolling your eyes
again as Jongdae shot you an
adorably goofy smile, the
corner of his mouth curling up
in a cute fashion.
Then, he gazed back to his
thick book & wrote something
on it again. You eyed him
curiously, he always had that
book with him but you never
know what it was for because
he never bothered to share it
with you.
“Hey .. I was wondering ..
What’s up with that think book
you’re holdin’?” You finally
managed to ask the question
you’ve been longing to ask.
“Secret.” He replied as he
wrote. You bit your lower lip,
“Can I take a look?” You asked
& he shook his head in reply.
“No, it’s not the time yet.” He
said & turned his head back to
you. He closed the book,
“When the time has come, I’ll
let you read what’s inside.” He
added & smiled. You pouted
but nodded your head in reply.
You really wanted to know
what he had been writing but
for now, you have to wait
patiently until ‘the time has
come’.
** **
(Someone’s POV)
I felt it, again. It hurts, I can’t
bear it any longer. It hurts a lot
‘til I can’t hold back my tears. I
know my time has come, I
know there’s nothing more I
could do about this. I have to
accept if this was what meant
for me. But .. What about ____?
** **
You woke up abruptly as you
heard someone shouted a
‘Happy Birthday’ to you. You
opened your eyes & saw
Jongdae, standing right in front
of you. It was still early & that
kid was waking you up from
your beauty sleep. Upon
seeing him, you close your
eyes back & dropped yourself
onto your comfy bed. You
didn’t mind of him being in
your house since you told him
where you put the spare key of
the front door & you were not
even that surprised to see him
early in the morning inside
your house.
“Ya! Wake up!”
Jongdae shook your body in
order to wake you up. But you
insisted to wake up. Jongdae
shook your body even harder
this time & hoped you’ll wake.
You groaned in frustration &
opened your eyes, “What? I’m
tired, I need to sleep.” You
mumbled as you were half-
awaked. “Wake up, you idiot!
It’s your birthday! C’mon~”
Jongdae replied & attempted
to pull you out off the bed.
You let him did that as you
shut your eyes. “Ya! Wake up!”
He screamed. You sighed
softly, “I’m not feeling well,
okay? I want to rest.” You
whined at him with your eyes
closed. Jongdae placed the
back of his hand onto your
forehead to feel your
temperature. “Yeah, you’re
hot. Alright then, take a rest.
I’ll bring some breakfast for
you. Just wait a sec.” With that,
Jongdae left your room to the
kitchen as you heard his
footsteps.
Minutes after, Jongdae came
back with your breakfast. You
opened your eyes slowly when
you heard his footsteps
coming closer. He gave you a
smile once he saw you & you
replied him with a slight smile
as you didn’t feel that well to
smile brightly as always.
“Here, I made you some
porridge.” He said, approached
you. He was holding a tray
with a bowl & a glass of warm
water on it. You looked at him
as he settled down on your
bed, sitting right next to you.
“What?” He asked when he
noticed you were looking at
him. You shook your head in
reply, “You know how to
cook?” You said in disbelief.
“Yeah, why? What’s wrong with
it?” He replied with a smile.
You shrugged, saying, “Oh,
nothin’.”
“Want me to feed you?”
Jongdae offered when he saw
you looked weak. You eyed
him in hesitation & soon,
nodded in reply. He smiled &
fed you the porridge he made
with love by himself.
You don’t have the appetite to
eat more so you only able to
swallow well after three spoons
of porridge. Jongdae was
about to feed you the fourth
spoon when you shook your
head. “You don’t want to eat
anymore?” He asked caringly &
you shook your head again in
reply. He then placed the bowl
back on the tray & grabbed the
glass of warm water. He
handed it to you & you drank a
sip of it before shaking your
head again.
Jongdae felt your temperature
again as he placed his hand on
your forehead. “You should
take a rest for today, I’ll take
care of you.” He said in that
angel-like voice. You nodded in
reply & closed your eyes.
“Jongdae-ah~.” You called with
both of your eyes closed.
“Hmm~” He replied. “Can you
sing a lullaby for me?” You
asked, you’ve always love to
hear his voice & you would like
to hear it again. “Okay.” And
with that, he began to hum &
sang your favorite song, ‘Peter
Pan’ from the chorus part
which you liked the most.
‘I’ll go looking for you by
following Tinkerbell, who was
sent by the memories.
At the place, both of us were
looking at each other, smiling.
I’m your eternal Peter Pan,
your man who has stopped the
time. I may be clumsy but I
loved you so much & I will run
to you. ‘
As he heard your soft breath,
he stopped & stared at your
face. He smiled as he saw you.
He brought his hand to your
face & caressed your cheek.
“Sleep tight.” He whispered to
your ear & planted a quick
peck onto the top of your
head.
** **
It was Saturday & you were on
your way to Jongdae’s
apartment. You promised to
come & see him today.
You knocked softly as you
arrived right in front of his
apartment. You waited for him
to open the door. A few
minutes passed & the door was
still closed, you knocked again;
louder this time as you were
starting to feel anxious. But
there’s not no answer. You
grabbed your phone & called
his number immediately.
There’s a ring but no one cares
to answer your call. You
panicked as you began to have
a silly thought about Jongdae.
You reached out your hand to
the door knob. As you held it,
you twisted it open &
fortunately, it wasn’t locked.
You opened the front door &
slowly got inside.
“Jongdae-ah~” You called when
you were inside. You closed
the front door & made your
way to the living room. It was
quiet. You looked around &
tried to find Jongdae but he
was nowhere to be found.
“Jongdae-ah~ Where’re you?
Don’t be like this. I don’t want
to play for now. Jongdae-ah~.”
You called him for the nth
time. Jongdae used to hide &
he would give you a surprise.
You thought he was doing it
again.
You reached his room. You
stood right in front of it &
knocked. “Hey, are you in
there?” You spoke. Then, you
opened the door of the room
slowly & poked your head
inside. “Jongdae-ah~.”
You entered the room slowly &
looked around. As you went
nearer to his bed, there, you
saw him on his bed. You
thought he was sleeping so
you shook his body to wake
him up but he gave no
responds. You pulled his leg as
a joke but he was not even
moving. You began to panic.
You pushed his body aside. He
was holding the thick book
tight to his chest & you saw
bloods coming from his
mouth. They were red & fresh;
the color you hated the most.
“Jongdae!”
** **
(Your POV)
I sat on the seat provided near
the emergency room. I can’t
think straightly, I was holding
Jongdae’s thick book tightly.
My mind was all about him.
I’m afraid he’ll leave me. I
can’t hold those tears & they
were streaming down to my
cheeks. I cried so hard & I was
worried about Jongdae’s
condition. The scene in the
room was so frightening. I saw
bloods; red fresh bloods. I
hated the color. I hated to see
those red stuffs coming from
his mouth.
I just wanted to know if he’s
okay. Will he be OK?
(end of POV)
You waited outside for almost
an hour. The door of the
emergency room opened & a
male doctor stepped outside.
You wiped your tears away &
immediately approached the
doctor.
“Are you Kim Jongdae’s
relative?” The doctor asked as
he saw you. You shook your
head & replied with a shaking
nervous voice, “No, I’m not but
I’m his best friend.” The
doctor nodded at your
statement.
“How’s Jongdae? Is he gonna
be alright?” You shot the
doctor questions. He was
wearing a calm expression &
you couldn’t tell what he was
thinking that made him
hesitating to tell you about
Jongdae. Then, he shook his
head in reply, “He has cancer &
it’s impossible for him to
survive now since the virus was
spreading to his lungs &
heart.” He explained in a
serious tone.
‘Cancer? Impossible?’
“W-What? C-Cancer?” You
stuttered. The doctor nodded
his head again. “We can’t help
him, we tried our best but the
virus was unstoppable. I’m
sorry, Miss. I’ve got to go. Be
strong.” He said & patted your
shoulder before he left.
You couldn’t believe of what
you just heard. You stood froze
right in front of the room.
Does this mean Jongdae will be
gone?
** **
You spent a day in the hospital
& waited for Jongdae to wake.
You slept next to him as you
were exhausted because of the
crying.
It was midnight when Jongdae
awake. You were startled by
his sudden whining. You
opened your eyes to see him.
“Hey, hey. You’re awake?” You
said as he saw you were right
next to him. He nodded
slightly. “Are you hurt?” You
asked him since you heard him
whining just now. He shook his
head, “I’m t-thirsty.” He
replied in a very low tone
which broke your heart to see
him like that. You grabbed a
glass of water & gave it to him.
Then, you placed it back to the
table as Jongdae shook his
head again.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” You
asked him while staring at him
straight into his eyes. “I’m
sorry.” He apologized. You
suddenly reminded about his
thick book, you reached out
your hand & grabbed it from
the table where you put it.
“Here.” You handed it to him
but Jongdae pushed it towards
you. “It’s almost time for you
to know what’s inside. I hope
you’ll take a good care of it
when I’m gone.” He said as
you looked at him in
confusion. “W-What do you
mean? You’re gonna be alright,
Jongdae. Don’t give up.” You
said, you were taken aback by
his statement. He was saying
as if he was going to leave this
world. He shook his head in
reply, “No, ____. My time has
come, I know it.” He answered
with that weak voice. You
looked at him, your eyes were
hot. A tear fell down to your
cheek. Is this real? Is this really
happening? This is a dream,
right?
** **
It was almost a week since
Jongdae gone. He left this
world earlier. He died in the
hospital that night when you
were talking to him. You really
can’t accept this because you
loved him; your own best
friend. But he left you without
giving you a chance to say …
You were sitting on the
wooden bench under the
shady tree where you used to
spend your time together with
Jongdae but not anymore.
Now, you’re alone with the
thick book he left you.
“This is the time for me to
know.” You muttered &
opened the first page of the
book. There, you saw a few
pieces of photo of you &
Jongdae. You saw his smile; his
beautiful smile you adored.
You turned from page to page
until you saw his handwritings.
“She came to my life &
brought that happiness I never
experience; those love I’ve
been longing to feel. She was
my best friend. And today, I
spent my time together with
her in this ‘Neverland’. She
looked cute as always. I loved
to see her beautiful smile that
made me forget about every
pain inside me. I was thankful
to have a friend like her. I’ve
always wanted to say to her
something but every time I
opened my mouth & she
stared at me, those words
won’t come out & I would
forget everything I wanted to
say to her. To me, she was
perfect. She was like an angel
in disguise with her long
straight hair, beautiful pair of
brown eyes, her scarlet lips …
She was my angel & I’m his
Peter Pan.”
You smiled as you read it. You
turned to next page & saw his
handwriting again but this time
it looked different from the
first one. It was like a scratch
or something. You read it as
you were curious.
“I felt it, again. It hurts; I can’t
bear it any longer. It hurts a lot
‘til I can’t hold back my tears. I
know my time has come, I
know there’s nothing more I
could do about this. I have to
accept if this was what meant
for me. But .. What about
____?”
Your smiled faded away as you
read this. It was short but it
was enough to send you that
painful feeling. You turned to
the next page & began to read
it,
“Since yesterday, the pain was
unbearable. I think my time
has come. If it was true, I
really want to tell you this,
____.”
You were surprised to see your
name on it. You continued to
read the contents,
“I know I should’ve told you
everything but I just don’t want
you to cry over it. Hence, I
decided to keep it as a secret.
I’m really sorry for that, ____. I
just don’t want to see you
crying because of me; instead I
want to see those beautiful
smiles of yours every time you
saw me. So, I want you to
promise me that you’ll smile
instead of wasting your
precious tears. Don’t ever give
up, be strong & tough!
_____,
I should’ve told you this too.
You know, I actually like you.
No, I love you; I love you more
than I love myself. I don’t ask
you to reciprocate the feeling
but all I want you is to respect
what I feel because falling for
you was never something I
planned.
Please, take care of yourself
when I’m gone. I had to leave
early. I’m sorry for not telling
you; I’m sorry for everything
I’ve done that may have
bothered you in anyway. I
hope you find someone better,
someone who’ll love you just
as much as you love him. He’ll
be the most handsome person
on earth and lucky to have met
such person like you. It was
nice getting to know you,
laughing with you and sharing
a part of me with you. I hope
you can remove me from you
mind with ease & fill it quickly
with someone else. I hope
you’ll find someone that would
shower your with love & love
you more than I did love you. I
hope you find you true love
soon. You deserve someone
better who’ll continue to make
you laugh through anything,
and I’m sorry I wasn’t that
person. I know you well
enough, ____. Stay healthy &
live well. I love you~ -THE LATE
KIM JONGDAE.”
You’ve finished reading the last
page with a broken heart. You
were touched. The words ‘The
Late’ were so upsetting. He
wrote them as if he really
knew his time has come. Hot
tears dropped from your pair
of eyes. You wiped them away
as you reminded what Jongdae
wrote. He hated to see you cry
because of him; instead he
wanted to see your smile
plastered across your face. You
forced a smile even though it
looked bitter. You closed the
book & got up. You took a last
glance at the place you used to
spend your time together with
Jongdae.
You made your way towards
nowhere. You were walking on
the sidewalk when
you.saw.him. No, it’s not him.
“Jongdae ..”
You saw a guy who looks
exactly like Jongdae. You
stared at him & he seemed to
notice you. He shifted his head
& his eyes caught your stare.
As both of you stared at each
other straight in the eyes, you
felt as if the world was moving
slowly. The people around you
were moving in a slow motion.
You have this feeling, a feeling
you used to feel when you
stared at Jongdae before.
The guy passed you & the
world was back to normal. You
were still confused as you
didn’t really have an idea of
what just happened. You
glanced at the thick book you
were holding.
‘Kim Jongdae~.’
Suddenly, the rain started to
pour. You didn’t move a bit in
your position. Instead, you
close your eyes & lifted your
head up.
“I love you too, Jongdae.”
You mumbled as the rain was
still pouring over your head.
He was your star; he was your
Peter Pan.
>>>>>>END<<<<<<
