It has been a tough week for you to handle it all by yourself. It never crossed your mind that there would be a time for you to say a real goodbye to him since the day you broke up.
A few days ago, you always have the same dream; a dream of him. And each time the sun shines, you always hope it was all a bad dream & that he is still breathing despite he is gone; for real this time. But it’s just a hope; a useless one.
Today, you woke up early. Actually you don’t even get to sleep pleasantly since last week because every single time you close your eyes, he would appear, smiling brightly to you -the smile you missed the most- in your dream & you would cry in your sleep.
You woke up with your pair of puffy red eyes. You don’t remember crying last night but you thought you cried in your sleep again. That’s how you live since he ‘left’.
Every moment & every second, you just can’t stop thinking of him. Do you still love him now that he’s gone? Yes, you do & you will for eternity. Who says love exists with an absence of eternity?
You grabbed your towel you placed near your bed & entered the bathroom to wash yourself. You stayed in it for almost an hour just to ‘wash’ away all your thoughts about him with the warm water. You always try to forget about him ever since the day you broke up because you need to move on but it always turns out into a failure. You just can’t forget about him because you loved him too much to let him go away.
** **
After taking your breakfast, you went to your room again to dress up. Luhan just texted you he’ll be there in 10 minutes to pick you up. He had promised to give you a lift to the cemetery & accompany you to visit Sehun every weekend.
As you opened your wardrobe, your gaze fell on a familiar shirt. You took it out from the wardrobe. You swore you’ve seen that shirt before. You bit your lower lips, trying to recall your memories. Then, that’s when it hits you. That shirt you were holding was Sehun’s. You shook your head, trying to erase the thoughts about him from your mind again. You quickly put the shirt away & dressed yourself up.
** **
Finally, you’ve arrived. You stood in front of the grave silently. Luhan was standing beside you; he knew you were having a rough time because he could see your puffy eyes. He just stared at you & felt a sudden tender pity for you. While you, using your trembling knees, you kneeled down. You tried to hold onto the tears from falling. You need to control them because you know Sehun would hate it to see you cry because of him. Instead, you forced a slight smile across your face. Even though it looks insincere, you’ve tried your very best.
You took a long breath before you opened your mouth to speak up,
“Hun, I’m here. I-“ You stopped because your lips were trembling as your spoke. You calmed yourself down before adding, “I’m sorry for everything. And.. I forgive you. I-I know you’re doing this for me; for us.” You stuttered. “Hun..” You called almost like whispering. “Do you love me?” You added, whispering for sure this time.
Suddenly the wind blows gently. You close your eyes & a tear fell down to your cheek. There was silence but you felt as if someone was whispering to you, ‘You do know how much I love you.’ It was like Sehun’s voice. You opened your eyes & looked around eagerly. But there was no one except Luhan who was standing right behind you. You sighed softly & stood up. “I’m going, Hun.” You said & turned to face Luhan. You grabbed his arm, saying, “Let’s go.”
** **
(Luhan’s POV)
Nobody ever knows what actually I feel. It hurts a lot to see a girl you love being with your own friend. But that’s how I feel when *y/n* & Sehun were together.
Yes, I like her. I like *y/n* but she chose Sehun over me. And I couldn’t do anything about it because I don’t want to ruin our friendship; me & Sehun of course. So, I gave up & moved on.
I still remember it as of it was yesterday; the day when Sehun made me promise to take care of her.
[flashback]
“Hyung..” He said in a low tone. He’s weak right now. It must be hard for him to fight the cancer by himself, I just wish I could take his position instead. I just can’t take it by seeing him suffered alone; he’s still young. I looked at him; stared straightly into his pleading pair of eyes. He took my hand & held it tight.
“W-will you promise.. me?” He added. I nodded slightly, “What’s it, Hun?” I replied. He opened his mouth to speak but instead, he lets out a hard cough. I panicked but he said he’s alright. “Take c-care of *y/n* for me. Will you, hyung?”
His sudden request startled me but I managed to control myself. I nodded my head again, hesitatingly because I don’t want to hurt him when he’s already hurt in the inside. And for the first time, I could see his smile again. I don’t know why but I feel delighted to see his soft smile.
“But h-hyung..” He whispered. I raised my eyebrows curiously at him; waiting for his words. “What I m-mean is.. Take care of h-her as her s-soul m-mate.” He hardly uttered the sentences. I was both confused & curious about it. He took a long breath, saying, “I k-know you like *y/n*.” I was shocked due to his sudden statement but he’s right. I do like *y/n* but I already moved on & I don’t feel like she’s gonna accept my heart.
Sehun’s tightened his grip on my hand before whispering, “I beg you.”
[end of flashback]
That’s why today.. I will make my first move; no matter what. This is Sehun’s last wish & I’m gonna make it true.
(end of POV)
Luhan took you to Sehun’s favorite bubble tea shop since you urged him to while he’s feeling uneasy. As you arrived, you immediately ordered two glasses of strawberry bubble tea.
While waiting for the bubble teas, you started a short conversation with Luhan. “Oppa.” You called. Luhan perked up as he heard you, looking surprised. To be honest, this was the first time you called him ‘Oppa’. He immediately shook his head & said, “What’s it?”
Your lips curled up to form a smile. You opened your mouth, you said, “Can we go to the bakery after this?” Luhan raised a brow, “Why?” He asked. You shrugged & replied, “I suddenly want to buy a cheese cake.” You grinned cheekily at Luhan. He smiled & nodded in agreement. He knows cheese cake is your favorite. You beamed happily and soon, the orders were served.
** **
You & Luhan walked together to the car as you finished buying the cheese cake. You never felt this happy before ever since last week & Luhan was happier to see your smile across your face.
You were holding tightly a wallet size photo of Sehun right now while Luhan was the one who’s holding the cake. You were humming a song happily. Luhan, in the other hand, was looking at you with a gentle smile playing on his lips.
A sudden wind gushed on the street which caused you to lose your grip on the photo you were holding. "Ah, the photo!" you exclaimed & ran after it. You did not notice it but Luhan did. He unhesitatingly ran after you causing the cake he was holding to fall down onto the ground. Just as you picked up the photo on the road, you felt a strong force that pushed you to the other side of the street. You heard the tire screeches.
Your eyes widened in shock as everything happen right in front of your eyes. ‘No.. no.. this can't be.. happening’ Tears filled up your eyes in an instant as you stared at the body not far from you. Luhan was lying on the ground; his eyes were closed and he was covered with the red flesh blood.
Your whole body was trembling hard & you’re not moving from your spot at all. After a moment passed, you quickly made your way to the unconscious Luhan & immediately made him rest on your lap.
"O-oppa.. Luhan oppa.." You called stutteringly while gently caressing his cheeks. He was bleeding too much and his blood was everywhere on the road. "Oppa please.. Don’t leave me.." You continued to talk even though Luhan was still unconscious.
You looked up around the people currently crowding both of you. Slowly, a tear slid down your cheek. "Help! Anyone, please.. help us!" You begged for their kindness as more tears followed sliding down your cheeks, "please.. anyo--" You were interrupted when a trembling hand held your hand.
"*y/n*.." Luhan called softly, half whispering. His voice sounded weak which hurts you since Luhan usually a happy-go-lucky type of guy. "Oppa.. Please don’t leave me.” You blurted while trying your very best to stop your tears from falling.
"I p-promised.. you.. I won't.. l-leave you.. alone" Luhan replied in a really low and weak voice hardly. "I promis--" He suddenly started coughing blood which feared you. It greatly gave a shock to you & you weren’t able to move for awhile. "No.. no.." You said in an almost inaudible voice. You brought Luhan closer to your chest and hugged him tightly as if you really don’t want him to leave you. "You won't die here.. You will live.. Don’t.You.Ever.Leave.Me." You whispered in his ears. "D-don't be.. like t-this. You s-should.. carry on..” Luhan said as if he knew his time has come, tears started to fall from his eyes too. "I will.." You said as you sobbed even harder than before. Is this happening for real? Is this really what they called THE END?
You closed your eyes, trying to control your feelings. "*y/n*.." Luhan called again, his voice was weaker and it was trembling. You hugged him even tighter as you really don’t want him to leave you. You felt so broke inside & outside. Everything isn’t going the way you wanted. Cruel; life is surely cruel towards you.
Along the silence between the both of you, Luhan took his last chance to say his last words that meant the world to you, "I love you, *y/n*.." “And I’m sorry.” As he said that, he breathed out his last breath.
And once again, you brust into heavy tears. You were still holding the lifeless body of Luhan & cried your heart out on his shoulder.
"Oppa.. L-luhan oppa.. this isn't real, right? You're so unfair! You promised you won’t leave me; you ain’t leaving. B-but..” You sobbed & paused. You suddenly felt dizzy as if the entire world was spinning. And soon, your vision became blur & everything went black.
::end::
