Dead But Not Gone

An Unexpected Episode

"Aww c'mon not even a little bit?" Alex egged on.

"Nuh uh. Nada." I said back to her.

Alex was trying to quiz me on my feelings for either her or Hazel, which I truthfully denied. She eventually gave up on the interrogation and walked to the dining hall. Star and Aless were going on the weekly supply run but before they left, Star pulled me to the side.

"So how do you like it here?" She inquired.

"I mean its better than walking aimlessly. And the residents seem pretty cool." I responded.

"You like it here don't you?" Star leaned closer with a look of amusement. "You wanna stay here don't you Derek?"

"Don't you have a run to do?" I changed the subject quickly.

A grin formed on her face as she headed back towards Aless. I decided to visit Mike again and hoped Lucy wasn't there. My prayers weren't heard as Lucy was sitting on the wooden chair beside Mike, once again.

"Oh, Derek, you walked off last time." Mike commented as I walked into the room.

"Derek, please can you talk to me?" Lucy tried talking to me.

"Uh, last time I dealt with you, you never told me you had a boyfriend." I spat.

"I didn't have a boyfriend! John and I broke up a month before I met you."

"I don't have time for this drama. Fact of the matter is, you lied to me. Made me fight some guy I ain't even know." I looked at Mike. "How you holding up?"

Mike stared at me with a blank expression, then replied, "Uh, good. Now if you two are done with this little break up, I'd like to suggest that Derek see Alex."

"What? Why?" I asked.

"Derek you had a piece of glass inside of you. Shouldn't you check it out?"

"No, Mike I'm good. It was a small cut."

"Derek please talk to me." Lucy interjected.

I rolled my eyes, and Mike gave me that 'do it' look. I looked back at Lucy and caved in. "Fine."

Lucy took me to the back and confessed everything.

"Derek, John was still attached to me. He said he'd be fine, but when I tried moving on, he would drive the other guys I tried getting with away. I didn't know he'd be at that party."

"But what happened after I left?"

"I came downstairs, saw broken tables, and saw John with a bloody nose and some other bruises. Everybody said you and him got into a fight." She continued. "Then I slapped him and stormed off, got a ride home, then all this bullshit happened the next day."

I was stunned. I assumed she purposefully did that to screw me over. Then again, making assumptions is my biggest flaw.

"I'm sorry." Was all I could say. Then I wondered where John was. "Where's he at?"

Before Lucy could get in another word, a familiar face exited the back door. It was John. I saw him, he saw me, and my blood started to boil. Part of me wanted to kill him. The other part wanted to forget what happened and move on. Both options were bickering with each other inside my mind and different scenarios played out in my head.

I went to say something but Xander stepped in. He must have saw us all in the back and got a feeling some shit was gonna go down.

"Derek, John, chill out. Now's not the time to fight. The world is in shambles and we don't need any negativity inside these walls." He looked at me and continued, "Derek, walk away. Forgive him for the past and embrace the future." He changed his gaze to John, "John, don't start any problems. Am I clear?"

"Clear as a mirror." I responded.

"Yeah. NO problems. Got it." John added.

"Good. Now leave Lucy to Mike, and go your separate ways."

I gave John one last look and turned away, heading to Hazel's house to vent.

When I got to her door, I knocked but got no reply. I decided to come in anyway and heard muffled crying coming from her room. I rushed to the sobbing and found Hazel sitting in the corner, knife in hand, about to cut herself.

"Hazel what the fuck are you doing?!" I shouted as I ran to her side.

I took the weapon away before she could cut into her skin and she started crying even harder.

"What's wrong with me?" She said. "Why can't I just drop dead?"

"Hazel, Hazel look at me."

"I'm worthless... Why am I even here?" She continued in between sobs.

I made a decision in the moment and pulled her close, her face burying into my shoulder. "Don't ever say that. You're here because you're strong. You're here because your friends need you. I told you that I'd rather be alone but that didn't last for long once I met you. You showed me that it's okay to trust people again. You showed me to not be afraid of being rejected. You showed me that I can still care. So please Hazel, stop crying. You're a beautiful and amazing girl and I'm so glad I decided to talk to you."

Her sobs slowed down and stopped. She pulled herself closer and hugged me tight. I rested my chin on the top of her head.

"Thank you, Derek. I'm sorry I almost did that. I just... snapped. I thought about my family and lost it. Thank you so much for stopping me." She confessed.

"Don't worry Hazel. I'm gonna be here for you from now on."

After the incident, I waited for Hazel to fall asleep so I can leave. When I stepped out, the gates opened up and Star came in with a full book bag. Aless followed behind. I greeted them and explained what happened.

"Oh my God. Derek thank you. I'm usually the one to calm her down but I wasn't here. Fuck man I can't thank you enough!" Alessandra expressed her gratitude with a hug.

"Yeah man, I'm glad you checked on her when you did. Who knows what could've happened." Star added with a smile.

Xander joined us and gave Aless a long hug and shortened the length with Star to a more friendly hug. He looked at me and nodded to his "office". I followed him to the little hut and he took out a piece of paper with Gunther written at the top of it.

"Derek, you've earned your keep in the group. Because of this, I wanna show you something." Xander unfolded the paper and a map with red circles around cities appeared. "I wanna expand Gunther. I have a guy not to far from here that we trade with now and then. If our communities combine, we can rebuild civilization!"

I was on board with the idea of rebuilding our broken world. But the thought of traitors plagued my mind. "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. We can do this. And I'm glad that you're one of us now."

Being accepted felt great. I missed it. After Branden and Peter left, I was broken. But now, I'm stronger. And I have these amazing people by my side.

"Damn it Derek! I can't fucking believe you! Don't pussy out on me now!"

Author's note: What's up guys, I'm sorry for the late upload. I was going through some shit. But expect a regular upload schedule of once or twice a week, and if you're nice enough, maybe three times! ;) If you like this story, be sure to rate it, comment, and share with your friends!