why (yoonmin)

chapter 15

....
p.J.

"Yoongi, tell me where you're at so I can come and get you, please?"

There was a click sound. It was awfully metallic sounding.
"This is Jimin right ? Ah, z must have called you and told you I was out and about. Tell him not to worry. I'm fine,mi just want to have a little fun tonight. It's been a long time since I've had fun like this. I forgot how it felt, why would I do that to myself ?"

A loud bang pierced my ears making me jump and pull the phone away from my ear. I looked around my empty room trying to calm my climbing heart rate.
"Was that a gun yoongi ? Are you okay? Yoongi?!" It was a long moment before I realized he was talking but I just couldn't hear him in my right ear. I moved the phone to the better of the two for now until it recovered.

"-I'm an adult, I mean I can understand if things weren't what they seemed like but he can't keep doing this to me and not expect me to act this way, right ? It's all really his fault but I love him. My light in the darkness of my mind. The voices tell me I should kill him. Ha! Kill him! I can't even think of putting the berral of a gun to his head much less do it on my own. He's done so much for me, sweet z. He pissed me off when he told me not to go out and protect him. I wanted to bash his fuckin head in. It's my job to protect, MY JOB! Anything that looks like a threat to Zico has to deal with me first. None of them have made it past go, imagine that. I guess I'm just too good at my job."

I felt like throwing up. Why was he telling me this. What was he thinking ?
"Yoon-"
"Shut the fuck up. I wasn't done talking. And up the formality, I'm your hyung. Min yoongi doesn't exist tonight. He will never exist for anyone every again."

There was a click and then dead silence. I felt unwanted and by a stranger I hardly knew. I wanted to cry and sleep but Zico asked me to call him back with any news. I didn't have much to report back but we both cared for yoongi, and he needed to know. I took a deep breath and called back.

________
"Hello?"
"It's..... Jimin.."
"Oh.Did you find anything out ? "
"Nothing to help get him. All he told me was that he wanted to protect you and that many others have tried to get to you before.....and didn't get past him.....he loves you and that he's no longer min yoongi.... He has a gun with him.... Then he hung up. That was all."
"It's okay. I have people who can help further. Thank you Jimin. You're not so bad when you want to be. I have something I want to ask you though. Do you think you can handle it?"
".......Sure... Why not"
________

Me to Namjoon hyung:
Me: hyung, yoongi hyung is gonna be gone for a while. Do you think you can reschedule the meeting with the manager for maybe next next week?
Namjoon hyung: I'll see what I can do. Is he still with Zico?
Me: ya.
Namjoon hyung: alright, I'll do what I can.

I threw my phone to the side of my bed. It hit the wall with a hard thud but I wasn't worried about a broken phone right now.

I haven't even been around yoongi for a month and I'm already being pulled into shit I'm not even sure I can handle! I wanted to cry, hit something, curl up into a ball and sleep forever. It is all just so.......overwhelming. If Zico was telling the truth , maybe I can help. Why would I though ? This is yoongi's problem that I just happened to be dragged into.

I shoved my hand through my hair and brushed through it with a sigh. I needed a drink.....or 5..... Whatever.

....
M.Y.

I stomped on the cigarette I threw to the ground making sure it was out fore toy before moving on. I didn't feel like me , but I was me at the same time. It only filed my confusion more. I remember everything, I killed people for Zico, I did drugs with him, spent my time with him. Everything is for him. Expressing my love and devotion to him so he'd know. I basked in his praise when I got back.
" you're such a good boy suga. You're my pretty boy..." I wanna be praised again. I want to feel like I belong to him.

I looked through the scope of the sniper rifle and looked around. Pussies are still hiding in the building. Jackson's got some old tactics and it didn't take me long to look within the 4 mile radius from block B's hide out. The streets were mostly empty by now. It was dark, everyone who lives around here knew that they should be inside by 4 to be safe. Wouldn't want to be caught in between the cross fire of some gangs. That would make for a sad day.

I've known Jackson for a while. I first met him at a club after I'd joined with Zico. He didn't know and tried recruiting me to his 'special' gang. He asked me if I wanted to go with him back to his place, I guess he thought I wasn't comfortable in the public eye to be making such rash choices. Hmm. We got to his place. Turns out he had a thing for emotionally dead teens. Bitch. He started to push his face into my neck, kissing me so sloppily, I thought a god was on top of me, he Told me he could make me happier than I could have ever thought. That was before I punched the shit out of him for palming my crotch. Didn't know then and probably still doesn't know his little " bastard" was part of his rival gang.

I'd told Zico about it. Told him how I was just going to a bar to watch the dj and was picked up by some older guy who took me to this nice place and then started to sexually assault me. He didn't take it lightly. I am his property, no one can touch me except for him. It's always been like that. I didn't mind being his dog, I belonged to this world , just as much as I belonged to the world of music.

I looked into the scope again. Still nothing.

Fuck it. Guess it's time to make a trip down there myself.

I put the safety to on and left my spot after patting myself down.
Knife in the hollowed out soul of my shoe.
Knife in the open seem of the inside of my jacket.
Glock in its holster on my hip.

I smiled to myself. I was ready to make my comeback. I was ready to live like before, next to Zico. I'll be his pet. no, I live to be his pet, this is the only thing left for me now. The only thing to make me happy.

I only knocked a few times before the door cracked open.

"Who are you?" Oh, a deep voiced man. Alright I'll roll.

"min yoongi. I'm here to see Jackson ." I smiled, it was so innocent.
"Wait right here ." The door closed and feet walked away. I backed up away from the door a bit to seem like I just wanted to talk. And if it went bad this early I had a bit of a head start to run.

The door opened again, wider so I could walk through. A basket was shoved into my face. "No phones beyond this point. Jackson's orders. "
I complied. No use in trying to argue to keep my phone on me if it wasn't going to be helpful at all for me. I followed him up 2 flights of stairs to a room with double doors. The slightly taller man opened the doors for me to enter and shut them behind me.

"Long time no see, Jackson." I smirked at the man I front of me who looked like he'd just seen a ghost. "I think I'm ready to take your offer up, but I wanna do something first." I inched my way closer to him and slightly lowered my eyelids. Oh yeah, this is going to be the most fun I've had in ages.

-update 7 of 10-