why (yoonmin)

chapter 23

....

M.Y.

My mind, what was left of it, was a mess.

Jimin kissed me. It wasn't even a whole week after being in the hospital because of me and he was already begging me to stay with him and kissing me.

I was scared.

the younger is cute, no need to lie, but I wasn't stable, especially around him sometimes. The other part of me wanted Jimin dead, leaving the open hole in my heart to be filled with the one who left me with him in the first place. He didn't need me, he needed to be protected from me. I couldn't trust myself around any of my friends, not anymore, until I gained control back or the voice went away. Something in my gut told me that it wasn't going to go away on its own, and that was worrisome nothing like etching doubt to drive the stake deeper.

"I can't jimin. We hardly know each other yet we are living together, and i don't want to hurt anyone of my friends if i accidently hurt you. We were lucky this time it was just a small concussion and some bleeding and not near death. I've done shit, bad, bad shit. I'm a lost cause for you. I'm sorry i have stayed this long. I was just expecting zico to come, overly hopeful. But i'll be leaving now."

Tears started to gather in the rims of jimin's eyes, bottom lip trembling slightly.

I looked at him confused.

" why are you crying?"

He didn't answer me as the tears started to fall down his face, finally.

"Jimin? Answer me please."

He just shook his head and went to hug my waist. I tried to shrug away at the contact but i'd been a second too late. Jimin started to cry more all while mumbling a mess of words into my skin. I forcefully moved his head up to look me in the eyes.

" what are you saying jimin ?"

" i said, i like you." his face reddened slightly and i only stood there in shock of being confessed to for the first time in my life.

Neither me or zico confessed to each other, we just kinda started to fuck. And it was great. He'd always put my on my ass after a round and i was satisfied until the next night.

"Jimin, you don't know me, how can you be sure you like me?" i questioned. I was curious as to what gave him the idea that he liked me, monster, killer, murder, me.

" i know you, i know a lot about you!" his voice raised causing it to squeak a bit in the middle.

" tell me how much you know then and not just what z had told you either."

" I-I know you like sleeping more than anything when you aren't writing, i know that your mom and dad didn't really agree with you and wanted you to share-share your money with them. You really want to be a rapper so you can li-live on your own.. But you can live with me, i like having you here. I know i live with taetae and kookie for now but i've already found a nice apartment it's 2 bedroom too. I'll have room. Please stay. I know you. I asked everyone about you.. I know you." he whispered. I could only look down at him in amazement and shock.

He was right. He did know me, and everything i've ever told hoseok. Which only made me feel like i shouldn't have giving that much trust to the guy in the first place, but i needed someone to talk to. However, there were still things jimin didn't know, that no one knew about. My parents house still stood vacant and i had just recently mailed out a card to the rest of my unwanted family saying that they were off the grid and trying to experience new things.

"If i agree to stay will you stop crying on me?" he wasn't a very pretty cryer but it's not his fault. Overall, jimin was very pretty, handsome, at that.

Jimin nodded his head and held me tighter. It was nice to have skinship that wasn't taehyung who was overly strong on purpose or hoseok who was touchy. Jimin was just right. Maybe i wouldn't mind spending time with him, but it would be after he moves out of taehyung and jungkook's house.

" how much is that apartment you are looking at?" if I'm going to live there as well, i might as well pitch in. it took jimin a full moment before being able to answer the question. Thinking probably.

" 227267.56 won..."

" i can help with that. Where is it located?"

" by namjoon and jin-hyung. They are the ones who helped me find it."

" alright, tomorrow we will go and move your things in. i have enough to pay for the first 3 months of rent."

Jimin let me go and smiled at me. " really ?!" the crow's feet at the end of his eyes were cute. I wanted to pull on them and move them around lightly with my finger and thumb. I nodded my head at him. " yeah, it's the least i can do. Just don't cry anymore ok?"

" okay yoongi-hyung.im going to go pack. Can you help me?" he happily skipped away before i had the chance to reply to him, but i guess he already knew i was going to say yes and follow him back there.

"Jimin... why do you have more than one pair of the same shirt?" i held the identical pairs in my hand after neatly folding them up.

" jungkookie forgets that he gets me the same shirt every year for my birthday. Its nice and comfy though so incase one of them gets ruined i have a back up. I think it's sweet of him." he smiled again and giggled a tiny bit. I just nodded my head and placed it in his suitcase.

We finished getting his clothes and other necessary things ready to go for the move. I was tired from constantly moving back and forth for almost an hour so i laid down on his bed. Jimin sat next to me finishing whatever it was that he thought was more important than resting.

" do you still want to be in the group with us, even with all of this.?"Jimin all of a sudden speaks up in a quiet tone. If it wasn't as quiet as it was in the room, i doubt i would have heard it. To be frank, i was thinking the same thing not too long ago as well. I'm still unsure about it but i wouldn't mind trying it out for a little while at least.

" maybe, it all depends." i didn't want to get the poor boys hopes up incase i couldn't do what he was wishing. Jimin let out a small hum before going back to what he was doing as had i, only being more successful with falling asleep this time.

Good night jiminie.