How to Say Goodbye

Chapter 18

I couldn't look at Niall for days after my kiss with Harry. And Niall noticed too.

At first, he thought it was my head, so he let me sleep on the bed while he took the couch. But when he sneaked into bed with me one night, and I wiggled out of his arm, he knew it wasn't my head.

It was the crushing guilt. I couldn't tell him about Harry, not without hurting him. But I couldn't lie to him either, which was hurting him as well. There was no easy way out of it, and it was unfair to both Niall and myself. But I had no idea what to do. How does one break the heart of a guy she can’t live without?

Niall brought it up one night as we were putting up decorations on the walls.

"What's wrong Sage?" he asked as I handed him a nail.

"What do you mean?"

He hammered the nail into the wall and pointed to the mirror Rylee bought me.

I gave it to him as he replied, "You hardly look at me, and you turn away from kisses or hugs or even conversation. Something must be on your mind."

He came down from the ladder after he hung up the mirror, and he looked me in the eyes.

I sighed and walked past him out to the balcony to the scene of the crime.

"Like this!" he said as he followed me out. I rested my hands on the railing and closed my eyes as I felt his arms wrap around me. "Sage, talk to me. Is it the engagement? Are you nervous about tabloids finding out?"

I shook my head and leaned back onto his chest.

"Then what's wrong, baby?" He kissed the side of my head.

I took a deep breath. "What if we skipped everything?"

His arms went rigid. "What?"

I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck. "What if we eloped?"

He raised an eyebrow. "No."

I pleaded with him. "I never wanted a big wedding! And I don't want the media to freak out and spread all these rumors about you and me! I just want you now." I played with the same little hairs at the base of his hairline.

Niall shook his head. "You're not thinking straight. I think I should call the doctor to refill your medication." He started making his way back inside.

I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "Niall, please."

"I know you, Sage. You don't want that. If you don't want to tell me what's wrong, fine. But don't lie to me."

I let him go back inside to work on the walls some more. I had screwed everything up.

And seeing Harry and Kensington walking into the building didn't help much either.

I closed my eyes and sighed. "Niall, we have guests,” I yelled after a few moments.

I heard him hammer something into the wall. "Kensey and Harry?"

The door opening answered his question.

Kensington cried, "Niall! Hey!"

He laughed. "Hey, Kensey. How are you?"

I didn't listen to the rest of their conversation because Harry showed up.

He didn't say anything to me, but instead, he pushed me up against the wall and started kissing me again. It felt so wrong, but it felt so right.

I pulled away. "Hello, Harry."

He smiled and leaned back down to kiss me again.

That was twice I was unfaithful to Niall. That was twice I was weak. What was Jeremiah talking about? I was not strong at all. I couldn't say no to Harry no matter how much I wanted to. I should've resisted. I didn't want Harry. I wanted Niall. Right?