How to Say Goodbye

Chapter 21

Kensington kept true to her word the next couple of months, never mentioning anything having to do with One Direction or Niall or Harry or any of them. The only time anything 1D related was brought up was when Liam called me every few days. He told me things going on with the boys, but didn't hover over Niall's name. He knew I wasn't up for feeling pain anymore. The only time I felt the overwhelming pain was the day of Niall's birthday when all anyone could talk about was him. The whispers about me didn't help. Everywhere I went, people gossiped about me and gave me shameful looks. I was an outcast.

But Kensington was a good distraction. She encouraged me to apply to a local college, so I did, and I started mid-semester. My perspective of her totally changed, and she slowly turned into my best friend. When she saw the whispers were getting to me, she encouraged spontaneous weekend visits around the world, anything to get my mind off of Niall.

And off of my parents. Even though they swore to me they would change for the sake of Owen, nothing was any different. My dad never applied for smaller hours, and when he was home, he slept. Owen shut himself up in his room and never came out unless it was to get something from the kitchen. As much as I wanted to spend time with him, college kept me busy all during the week, and Kensington kept me busy during the weekend. There were a few times Owen had days off from school, so we took him with us on our trips around the world.

I still found time to visit Jeremiah again. It felt weird being there, like I couldn't feel him with me anymore. And one day, the emotions and stress from the past months overwhelmed me, and I broke down.

I was kneeling on the ground and holding the flowers I bought to rest next to him, and I lost it. What was meant to be a calm, every day visit turned into a full on sob fest.

"I screwed everything up, Jeremiah. It's all my fault." I dropped the flowers and threw my head into my hands. "You were right, though. I've missed you so much." I tried catching my breath before I continued. "I used to be able to feel you with me everywhere, especially here. But you're gone now. You're gone! And I wasn't ready to say goodbye." I quieted my voice to a whisper. "I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready." I kept saying the same three words while rocking myself back and forth. And I suddenly felt the weight of being alone. Like someone's arms were supposed to be around me, comforting me and making me feel hope. But there was no one.

So after that episode, I made Kensington drive down with me before we left on a trip every weekend.

We were in Barcelona one weekend in March, about seven months after my break-up with Niall, and we were walking down the streets and admiring the sites and wonders of the city. Kensington pulled me aside into a shop selling local delicacies when I got the phone call from my mom.

"Hey mom! What's going on?" She never called me while I was on my trips.

I heard the sound of her sobbing through the speaker. "Mom, speak to me!"

She tried to clear her throat. "You need to come home now, Sage. Something's happened to Owen."

Nothing in the world could have made my ass move faster to the airport.

Kensington and I were something to see as we ran to through the hospital, carrying only the clothes on our backs. Our luggage was the last thing on my mind, and it would be shipped back to my apartment anyways. I just had to get to Owen as fast as I could.

"What the hell happened?!" I asked as I met my parents in the waiting room.

My dad grabbed my shoulders and tried to calm me down. "Sage, please."

I shook his hands off me and pointed my finger at both of them. "Whatever happened, it was under your watch!"

My mom cried into her tissue.