Filming Flashbacks

Chapter 9: Promises

A/N:  I know three updates in two days is crazy, but that has been bursting in my brain and I had to get it out!  Hopefully you'll cut me some slack when you don't get an update for a week.  Thanks so much for your enthusiasm and support!  I hope this is what you were waiting for.  (Thank you, Robin - you know exactly why.)

DAKOTA POV

After racing to the bathroom to fix my face, I'm now in the kitchen opening a bottle of wine when I hear my doorbell ring. My stomach flips in anticipation as I lean back to holler, "Door's open. Come on in!"

Jamie comes in with a grumbling, "That's not exactly safe, Dakota. You shouldn't leave your door unlocked." I hear him lock my door and drop what I assume is his backpack in my foyer.

"Have a seat at the table. I'm pouring us some wine." I need to keep my hands busy and use this last minute to breathe deeply before I jump out of this plane that is figuratively flying at 30,000 feet.

I turn with the wine glasses in my hand and smile gently at him as I see him sitting at the table, fingering the paperwork he gave me two hours ago. I set the glasses on the table in front of him and then gently sit astride him so that I am as close as I can be and look him dead in the eyes. I hear his intake of breath, but he recovers quickly and puts his arms around my waist to pull me in closer. He sighs deeply and lays his forehead against mine. We pause for a moment, simply breathing each other in.

After taking a deep breath, I sit back and place both my hands on his face, tenderly stroking. "We have things to discuss, but first and foremost, James Peter Maxwell Dornan, I love you." I bump his nose but sit back before he can zoom in for a kiss, which is clearly his intent. "I'm sorry to plagiarize, but I can't say this any better than you did. I am utterly, completely, and irrevocably in love with you. My every thought, my every plan, is with you in mind."

He smiles widely and growls as he pulls me in for a kiss I can feel to my toes. He holds my head with one hand, not giving me an inch, and pulling me closer still with a firm hand on my hip. My arms are as tight as they can be around his shoulders and one hand finds its way into his hair, scratching his scalp gently as I moan into his mouth.

He pulls away, only to bury his face in my neck and kiss my ear. I feel the moisture on his face as he whispers into my ear, "Oh thank God." He breathes again and repeats his mantra, "Thank God. Thank God. Thank God."

I tug on his hair to pull his head back so I can see him. My heart breaks at his tear ravaged face and his still watery eyes. "Hey, hey, hey. What is this?"

He pulls me in for yet another rib melting kiss. After a minute he pulls back with a few brief smacking kisses – as if the immediate disconnection is too much. "Baby, I've been so scared – terrified. This is all I can do to show you, try to convince you how I feel and how serious I am about wanting a future with you. If you had rejected this, rejected me, I honestly don't know what I would have done."

He runs his hands through my hair and down my arms, gripping my hands. "I've been like a dying man on life support. I need you – need your love to live. You've never said you love me and I've been strangled with fear that you never would – that all that I've put you through killed whatever spark of feeling was there before."

His eyes are running again, so I grip his face once more and kiss him firmly. "Stop. We're here now. I love you – I have ever since the day you wanted to cuddle in my trailer because we both needed to be held. I never stopped, Jamie – not even when I wanted to put your dick through a meat grinder."

He chuckles at that, as I intended. "I couldn't say anything. It would have been wrong, and honestly, I didn't want to put myself out there only to have you stay married. You haven't been the only one feeling insecure, babe."