DANGER // YOONMIN

17

"I watch the children because it's like a glimpse of the happiness I once had,

I watch the children because they don't have to worry about anything, they have carefree lives,

where it doesn't matter if you failed a test because in the long run it doesn't affect who you are or what you want to do.

I watch the children because they show me that this fucked up world isn't too bad after all,

I watch them because it seems that nothing bothers them,

and they're so quick to forgive,

and I don't understand how when someone grows up, they become so unforgiving.

they're so innocent,

their eyes are sheltered against the horrors of this place,

they're not afraid to be who they are."

I nodded trying to comprehend what you were telling me,

because in all honesty, it made no sense to me,

why you would sit there all day just watching them,

because although all of those reasons are valid,

do they really give enough reason to spend the rest of your days watching the children?

"is that all you're going to tell me?" I spoke up.

there was a slight lull of silence until you began speaking.

"I've made up my mind."

"I'm going to tell you the very last thing that I wanted to tell you, today.

every day that we've met, I've been dreading this moment,

because every time I've told someone this specific piece of information,

they all leave,

they tell me I'm a freak,

they say that I should be isolated, even be sent to a asylum.

and all of those words hit me harder than they should because I know that I don't belong in any of those places that they tell me to go,

because I know that there is something wrong with me, but that doesn't make me a freak.

you see I've had a long time to think about this, about how screwed up it is for people to belittle others who aren't exactly up to their level of health.

and all I wanted to know was why people are like that, why they act the way they do,

and I think I've figured it out,

they feel they have no control over their own life, and it makes them feel powerful to put down someone who they deem lesser than them.

so then, you know what I did?

I began playing that game because I wanted control of my own life,

because I saw this world for what it was, and I didn't want to grow up,

because that's what we're all so thirsty for, right?

power?"

you let out a bitter laugh as your hand skimmed over the handle of the spinny-ride.

"well, what if I don't want power anymore, what if I don't want to be me anymore,

what if I'm sick of being judged?