DANGER // YOONMIN

7

all week,

you played games,

sending me one place to another,

leaving me disappointed when you weren't standing behind every door I opened.

I had been to the library,

the swing set,

an abandoned shop,

and then a record store.

there was a note,

you had instructed me to buy my favorite records,

so I did.

I bought twelve albums,

because at one time you told me that twelve was your favorite number.

the bell rang,

and in you came,

with flowers in your hair,

and dull sleepless eyes.

your eyes always interested me,

you always seemed so happy and full of life,

but your eyes told me differently.

they were reflection of your sadness that enveloped you completely.

you snatched my hand and pulled me into your car,

it smelled strongly of smoke,

as did you.

you sped along the freeway,

nervously tapping on the steering wheel while you took in your surroundings.

your hair was sticking out every which way,

and you were constantly biting your lip.

"where are we going?" I asked.

you looked at me briefly, with a smile on your face and said,

"I don't know."

but I was fine with that answer because anywhere with you is where I wanted to be.

so I turned the radio on and started tapping my fingers on the dashboard to the tune of the song.

you smiled slightly bobbing your head back and forth to the beat.

that's how we stayed for the rest of the drive,

until we arrived at a small secluded beach. 

you brought out your record player and set it in the sand,

then you grabbed all of the records I had chosen and set the first one in the player.

"so is this a date?" I asked quietly, willing your answer to be yes.

because the whole time I had known you, I felt myself being pulled to you,

and every time I met you somewhere a little idea had been planted in my head,

it started out as a seed, slowly growing, until it was flourishing and consuming my every thought.

I was falling in love with you with every movement you made with me and every syllable you spoke.

it's almost as if I couldn't shake you from my mind,

and you were slowly becoming my world.

you sat there in silence,

pondering over my question,

as a smirk made its way onto your face,

"no." you states with a hidden defiance in that simple word.

I felt my face fall and my attention divert to my hands.

during the week that I had known you I had convinced myself that you felt the same,

that we were meant to be.

But I guess that it was just me, drowning in thoughts of the impossible.

Who was I to think such a beautiful boy would like me,

and that's part of the reason I was so disappointed.

"this is in fact not a date, simply because no one asked the other person on a date." you continued.

"so therefore it is not classified as a date, but we could rename it into something that resembles a date if you so wish it."

I looked back to you, a smile on my face,

you and your technicalities.

"well it depends, I suppose," I said

"would you like this to be something that resembles a date?"

you looked down at the sand for a moment before you looked me right in the eye,

"I suppose I would if you wanted it to be a date," you said.

I just nodded, and so did you.

and that was how I went on my very first date with the boy I had so quickly become infatuated with.

the rest of the night we laid in the sand, side by side,

staring at the stars,

and listening to the records that I had chosen.