When Love Hurts

Chp 26- Killing Me

I heard a soft humming in the background. It is smoothing. I still feel so tired. I tried to move my arm but instead only my fingers responded. The humming stopped. Why did it stop? I struggled against myself and opened my eyes before closing them shut again.

“Turn off the lights.” My voice cracked. There was a movement, some shuffling before I feel the lights dimmed.

“Bruce..” I opened my eyes again when I heard the voice. My heart leaped.

“Ashley..Oh god, i-“ I tried to push myself up but was held down. I had never felt so weak before.

“Shh..you need to rest. Don’t move.” I lay back down as I observed her moving to pour a glass of water. She brought the glass to my lips and I emptied it. She placed the glass back on the counter before turning to me again. She held a towel in her hand and starts to wipe my face before my hand. I grabbed her hand making her stop.

“Ashley, I just wanted to tell you that I really didn’t –“ My words were cut short when she put a finger to my lips. She sighed and sat back on the chair.

“Bruce, it’s ok. I don’t need an explanation. Just get well and other things can come later. Your mum is so worried. Do you know you almost starved yourself to death, you are so intoxicated you almost died.” I looked at her tired face as she paused. “ Please don’t do it again..” I looked down at my hands as she trailed off. I feel stupid. I am only making her guilty. I love her so much. Look at me now, a wreck. She ran off. Came back to see me like this.

“I am so scared when your mum called me. I rushed back and..and brought you to the hospital. Actually the security guards came up after the apartment below complained of glasses smashed and shouting. So yeah, here we are.” Squeezing my eyes shut I turned my head away from her. I get it. She came only because my mum told her to. She is here because she feels bad that I became like this. I don’t know anything anymore. My heart is crushed. Fuck my stupidity. Fuck my love. Just fuck everything.

“Bruce?” I breathed out a breath I didn’t know I had been holding.

“I understand. Just..give me some space. For now.” I heard a soft okay before I heard her walked away. The door opened and closed. Silence. No. There is a sound, my heart shattering into pieces kind of sound.

Ashley’s POV

Over the next two days I visited Bruce. I didn’t stay overnight anymore as his parents buzzed around. I knew that he is unhappy to see me. We barely talked just a few responses. He refused to speak to me. When I saw his hand twitched for the first time I almost cried out in joy. His eyes opened and his voice. I really wanted to hug him and kiss him. He looked so weak but I stopped myself. I wanted to say sorry so many times but I couldn’t. I could only repeat robotically what happened, feeling relived. After that he closed off. I feel guilty. Now that he wouldn’t even look me in the eye makes me feel so painful that I had a throbbing headache. What is wrong with me?

“Ashley? Are you listening?” I shot my head up at Aunt Beatrice’s voice.

“Erm..yeah?”

“Bruce is released tomorrow. At twelve pm. Just to inform you if you want to pick him up.” She smiled at me before standing up. We are outside his room at the resting area.

“Yes, thank you Beatrice.” I smiled weakly as she waved me goodbye. Its two pm now. I flipped out my phone and started dialling Vince’s number.

“Hey Ashley. What took you so long?” Vince drawled out his greeting and I rolled my eyes.

“We need to talk.”

“Uh oh. I smell something bad.” Vince chuckled slightly.

“Nonsense. Come pick me up at six pm. Let’s go eat.”

“Alright, see you later.”

I picked up my bag and head to the hotel. The apartment had been cleaned these past few days. I moved out yesterday when I realised Bruce is seriously cutting me off.