My Ovaries!

Weedman

Fifty-one ways to say "No." to smoking weed. Happy 4/20!

A friend indeed won't make you smoke that weed.

Are you kidding me? Grow up!

Ganja is for goons, no thanks.

No thanks, I'm a good person.

You need to go to jail, hempo.

My dad told me better. No way!

Grass is crass, and also gross!

Uhhhh... No thanks, loser.

Get away from me THC addict.

Yeah right, I am way too smart.

Let me think... No way, never.

No. You are trash if you take.

Back off bucko, you are bad.

I would rather not, okay?

Injecting weed is for dummies.

I will never take one hit.

Absolutely not, I love myself.

Bugger off you bong addict.

I will use my taser on you.

Get a grip you satvia snorter.

What do I look like? A failure?

Nah, bongs are wrong.

Hemp is horrible.

I would rather not be a cannibal.

I was raised right, I won't light.

I would like to keep to my job, thanks.

You wish pot junker. Back off!

I'm calling the coast guard.

No takes for me, I am cool.

Leave me be you blunt blazer!

No, I am as clean as a whistle.

That's a death "roach". No.

I'll pass on your pot offer.

Cannabis is crap you cretin.

Pish posh. Pot is for the birds.

THC is not for me.

Step out my zone, now.

Get off my case, weed stoner.

Nuh uh, I respect the police.

Lay off, I listen to the law.

NO! Blunts are for bad men.

I'd rather not die. Takes kill.

No, weeds are for wacking.

Marijuana is for morons.

Are you serious? Get a life.

You are dumb if you do "dank".

Stoners are loners, I'm good.

Nope! Spliffs are for wimps!

He still would not get the hint, he kept bothering you to take a hit. You did not want to. You were Christian, he was a stupid stoner with no morale. Too bad he did not offer Heroin. 6:50 inject it.

Why did he keep bothering you? Did he not see you were a clean soul? He was almost screaming "Just try it, man!" into your ear lobes. No longer would you be able to bear this pain, torture, and agony of hearing this no life stoner.

On and on he went, you could not take it now. You dialed 9-1-1. The stoner looked confused but said nothing. There was an awkward silence until the police showed up and screamed "ALRIGHT NIGGAS, ERRYBODY ON DA GROUND AN ROLL UP DAT BLUNT!" both of the police officers were Jamaican.

You did not get on the ground as you were told but instead you stood there. You were ready to call the KKK and report a wild negro, but they had their guns out, it could have very well just been a pipe.

They came over to you and one of them said "Aight mon what seems tuh be da problam?" he was stoned. You did not reply so he went on to saying "Mon if ya doen roll a phat one noh Imma haf tuh rite ya a site ation. Ya doen whan dat now do ye?" the weed on his breath was rancid. How did they not see that you only did heroin?

You pulled out your needle and screamed '"6:50 INJECT IT LOSER ASS STONERS!!!" the needle was brought to your skin, it was more than what you would normally take. Almost immediately you had fallen because it was too much for your body to handle. You heard the stoner say "Whatta we gunna do?"

One of the cops replied with "Ion know mon we can use hem fo sum fertelazer den ye?" everyone agreed.

They buried you deep into the ground, making sure you could not escape, but shallow enough so the pot could reach your body. The roots intertwined within you, soaking every last nutrient up, growing more erect with every taste of you. Becoming the best. The roots ran down your legs, into your anus and absorbing fecal matter. The plants got the meat sweats. They finally "ate" up every last part of your delicate body, leaving your ones as a remembrance to what you have served.

The body that was so pure from never smoking the devil's lettuce was now being used for it. This is also how mutated strains occurred, from the heroin in your bloodstream, the plants absorbed it, making the best pot ever made. You are the best pot.