My Ovaries!

Lightning McQueen

    "It's high vroom." he whispered in your ear while revving his engine to a purr.

    This made your driveshaft shiver as you said "There is another thing that's high..." you motioned towards his exhaust pipe, it was fully erect. "I bet the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles." whilst smirking at him.

   "Oh baby, my fluid is running through my body! You are gonna have to get below my sweet oil jizz and lick it all off as it runs down." he started thrusting his tailpipe into your face as you cried a little from the rust getting in your eyes. He was not in his prime anymore. He reminded you of your mother.

   "DADDY! MY OVARIES ARE EXPLODING WITH JOY!" you started screaming that until you, felt his hot, sticky, black oil all over your face. You opened your mouth and said "I want you to fill me up with all of your hot sticky oil daddy McQueen!" this seemed to excite Lightning McQueen even more.

     Busting all over your face, it dripped down onto the ground, he ordered you to lick it up of off the disgusting shop floor. You obliged because he said he would hit you with his lightning punishment stick. You did not want to be punished more than you already were so you started begging "Please! I be a good little toy car!" you stared at him with baby car eyes.

    "Oh you know I could not never even hurt my little baby car girl." he noticed his mistake and became more red "I mean, you ain't gonna get punished by daddy too much. Only if you deserve it." he stuck out his tongue which made you cringe. He was at least fifty years older than you were, and he was pretty weird. But hey, he was hot in his prime.

    You did not answer him because you did not know how to respond to something so cringe, he asked if something was wrong and you answered with "I can't do this anymore, Big Daddy Queen, if mama finds out you are repairman and chillin' with me, she is gon' flip out on all us."

     Lightning said "Baby girl, I'm not gonna let mama know anything about this, I don't want her knowing as much as you do, little angel." He looked down at you, noticing that you still had some oil on your face he said "Let me get that for you." he reached down and wiped the oily jizz off of your mouth and you smiled. Isn't it great having a dad who is a racer in the streets, and a lightning bolt in the sheets?

    Just then you heard the garage door opening and your mother pulled in. She gasped when she saw that you were still sitting with your dad, fresh paint scratches on your body. She gasped as she saw you. "Oh my god, what are you guys doing in here?" she started sniffling.

    There was a long, dreaded silence between the three of you, it seemed like ages before anyone spoke. You saw Lightning's exhaust pipe start to erect itself again. He started to smile as he moved toward your mother and started licking her headlights.

    Your mother instantly started dripping oil as she exposed her rusty, worn out, and decrepit undercarriage to Lightning. He whispered "There is a reason why I like old cars more than new ones. I like hearing the clunking noise they make while I'm brutally pounding their engine.

   You felt obliged to join them, making hot, sweet love to both of your parents at once has been your fantasy for a really long time. Rolling up to your parent vehicles you say "Beep, beep Marxism." you smirked anticipating an answer.

   They looked at you as though you were completely and utterly autistic. You have never seen such a look of repent coming from either of them. Haltingly, you backed yourself out of the garage. You accompanied yourself back up to your room. That is when you heard it. A plenitude of voices struck your ears, but you could only make out one. It was God herself. She was saying things like "Go deep in my engine, McQueen!" you scrutinized yourself as to why God would be saying something like that, something that you had been saying earlier to the one and only Lightning McQueen.

    You felt foolish for thinking it would be God. "There is no such thing as God." you said to yourself contemptuously and scurrilously. An idea came to your mind that could put an end to your paroxysm and throe of having to oppose your mother in a rumpus. She was stealing your daddy.  You would have none of that, either your mother dies or you will.

    Later your father rolled up into your room, he brought an oil box and let you sip on it "Listen kiddo," he said regretfully "I had a lot of fun times with you, but just because we live in Tennessee, it does not mean we have to live up to our stereotype of incest. I know I always told you that incest is wincest, but there is a time when we all need to let things go." he looked at you, you knew he wanted you to agree with him.

     Screaming at him to leave your room, your eyes started to well up with tears as you noticed a gallon of gasoline. Upon further inspection you noticed that it was not  gasoline at all, but it was diesel fuel, you knew too well on what would happen if you drank it. You knew it would slowly kill you, you wanted as much pain as possible, hoping that the amount of pain that the diesel would cause you could somehow override the pain of your "Big Daddy Queen" only showing your mother love and affection. Something you would get when he wanted to change his oil.

    Quickly you drank the diesel. The next following hours were a complete blur, your mother found you next to the can. She was going to set you on fire while you were sleeping. You were never wanted in her eyes because you were forever McQueen's favorite, a wide smile spread across her face as she realized that she would forever hold McQueen's love.

   Nobody attended your funeral, you were just forgotten at a junkyard, shoved way in the back. Nobody even used you as a parts car.

   Your mother and Lightning were starting to live a happy life again. Until she got pregnant.