She's my heaven and my downfall.
I feel like king yet I feel like shit.
How is it that someone who makes me feel on top of the world make me feel so insecure?
How is it that the closer I become with her, the further I feel to everyone else?
She's all I got. She's my everything.
And I hate to say it but that's been killing me.
Now I'm not saying I don't love her anymore cause I do. I'm not saying I don't want her anymore cause I do.
But I'm also saying I can't take it anymore cause I can't. I can't fake it anymore cause I can't.
I don't know how but she's my rise and my fall. My high and my low.
So clouded by everything about her I've lost way of being my own person anymore.
I don't know how to feel if I'm not with her.
I feel alone. Lonely. Sad. Depressed.
She's my crutch to life. I feel dependent now.
I never wanted to be. Yet somehow I'm here.
Sitting in this cold dark room. Reflecting.
How'd I let it get this way?? Is t my fault.
It has to be. She didn't plan any of this.
Hell she doesn't even know I feel this way.
If she's gone I have nothing. I have no one.
There is no one better fit for me. I have no one.
There's never been another sweeter. I won't have anyone.
I won't feel that same warmth inside. I still don't have anyone.
See if I'm not only hers I'm not hers at all.
Not able to live my own life because of the potential thoughts & actions of others.
Not able to be apart & stay connected cause of the security she needs of us being together.
Shit sucks. Life sucks. Yet I'm so damn lost.
People telling me what I'm doing is unhealthy.
People telling me this ain't right.
"Stop downing yourself. Drowning yourself. Live your own life."
But what life do I have to live when my life is hers too??
Bet you wouldn't feel the same if you was walkin in my shoes.
Long nights. Cold nights. Steady spellin out the blues.
Is it a shame that I don't kno nothing else but love??
Is it a shame that I have a deeper want for drugs.
I don't want to feel like all this time we put in was a waste.
To feel like everything I'm bout will make me a disgrace.
To feel like all this work I'm puttin in will be for nothin.
Cause it's unhealthy but I fear the exact shit that might just help me.
Don't kno what I'm doin anymore so I just think.
And spazz. Goin crazy as the days go by.
Shit I'm already crazy it's getting worse idk why.
Well I kinda do. I mean it's been spelled out to me before.
But denial been a bitch & that bitch got me wrapped in her galore.
The sweet aroma of unknowingness.
Uncertainty playing me like a damn flute.
All cause I've lost my own sense of self worth.
All cause I can't understand no matter what anybody tells me that I'm worth shit more than the music I'm able to put out.
Hating who I am and constantly going crazy.
Spazzing on anybody and everybody lately.
This shit hurts yoo. And can't nobody fix it but me.
But how imma fix my problems when all I see is insecurity?
YOU ARE READING
For Roses Who Were Born In Concrete
PoetryThis is a collective of poems written by me that I plan to update. From feelings on society to the ones that relate to the darkness the poems I share are to express. To express and show where I came from where others can relate.
