"What do you mean you think you killed Jason" Cheryl asks once we had both calmed down and moved to a table to sit at. I pull my phone out of the pocket of my green leather jacket.
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"Here read his last message" she looks shocked at what she's reading "you and Jason changed the plan" nodding "he wasn't going to meet Polly" nodding again. We get up and go back to throne hill together, both need time to process the situation.
I'm laying on my bed, looking at a photos of Jason and I. Him kissing cheek, his arm around me like friends. We were family it was always Jason Cheryl and I no one else. Feeling sick I race to the bathroom throwing up. Emptying my stomach before getting up and going to get a water from downstairs. Siping it leaning against the counter. "Are you ok" use to Blossoms sneaking up on my I don't even move when Penelope asks. "Yeah just not feeling well...I'm going to go up to bed" she nods smiling at me. Going back up to my room putting on some comfy clothes and getting under the cover of my bed. I always had a funny relationship with Penelope and Clifford Blossom, It was like they thought of me as another child while not at the same time. It ultimately just depended on what mood they were in I think. Jason's funeral is tomorrow and it's going to be one of the hardest days of my life but I will have Cheryl to lean on like she will do the same for me.
Waking up rolling over instantly not wanting to wake up, not wanting to be forced to say goodbye to Jason. Sighing as I get up only to have to run to the bathroom vomiting again. Putting it down to nervousness and fear about today I flush the toilet getting in the shower. Instantly feeling better as the water hits my back. Wrapping the towel around me and stepping into my walk in closet pulling out my dark blue dress Jason gave me laying it over the seat in the middle. "Hey I knocked but you didn't here" "it's fine you can come in" " wow are these all yours yeah most are from the Blossoms few from my family" turning to the stereo turning on summer of 69 by Bryan Adams. "Sit I don't mind" she side on the chair in the corner watching me pull clothes out "Jason played this when we first met" "Penelope said you were sick" "yeah just nerves and fear" "of what" pulling my black knee high boots out "today saying goodbye to one of the most important people in my life" going to the coat section of the closet and pulling out a black coat to go with. Putting it on and putting a gold necklace turning to Veronica "what do you think" "you look wow" "or this" pulling out a long black dress and putting it on.
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"It's up to you but wow your closet is amazing" "Jason always use to say an amazing girl deserves amazing clothes he and Cheryl got me most of this Penelope and Clifford only got me things on my birthday and Christmas" deciding to wearing the blue I change back into it, before I can get it however I have to run to the toilet vomiting again. Rinsing my mouth with the cup full of water that is now in the bathroom. Flushing the toilet and walking out changing into the blue dress like nothing happened. It wasn't until I put my gold necklace on that Veronica finally spoke "are you sure your ok" "fine" turning and facing her "I'm going to go find Cheryl see how she is...you can borrow them if you like just ask which ones some have important meaning" walking out of my room without a response. Knocking on Cheryl's door before entering "hey how you doing" "ok you" "been sick like a million times since last night but it's just nervousness and fear about today" I see Cheryl looking at the white dress she wore the last time she saw Jason "do it who cares what anyone thinks this day is about us getting closure I'm wearing this because he got me the dress" "he brought 95% of the stuff in you closet" "true but he said this one went with me personality and when I wore it last was with him he said that I looked perfect in it and no one would ever be competition...it makes me remember how carefree happy we were" she smiles at me "he was right though you do look gorgeous in that...Cheryl all eyes are going to be on you regardless of what you wear I say go for it I will back you up you know that" smiling as I turn to leave "I'll see you down there" she nods.
I walk into a holding a black rose gaining everyone's attention. Cheryl has the deep red one. Standing there staring at the coffin before looking around taking a seat next to Archie "are you alright" nodding not wanting to say anything afraid to cry at this moment. Cheryl walks into the room wearing the white dress being a smile to my face, she goes up to the podium and addresses everyone. As she begins to tell us how close she felt with Jason I begin to remember how close I was. Every time he kissed my head, hugged me, joked with me, gave me a piggyback ride it was like a movie of a greatest hit all the fun things flashing before my eyes making tears drip down my face. I broke out of it when Archie put his arm around me "i failed you Jason we all did" getting up and wanting to go over to her to find Veronica already hugging her. Walking out of the room grabbing a water and going to sit in the garden alone.
Twirling the rose around in my hand it was just the Blossoms and Archie now. We were burring Jason and the Blossoms allowed Archie to stay for me. Watching the coffin get lowered, I can't hear anything I'm in my own world. I'm not ready to say goodbye I don't want to. Deep inside me a voice is telling me I have to. Sighing as the last piece of dirt is over the coffin. Walking forward holding Cheryl's hand, I place down the black rose as she places down the deep red one
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Two halves to Jason's personality. I sat on a stone bench in the graveyard as the Blossoms went inside. "I don't think I want to say goodbye Archie" I tell him as he sits beside me "or want to" "he was an important person in your life" " more important that you think" I mutter leaning into his side "promise me we won't loose each other again like we did when I met Jason" "promise I'm not letting you go this time" smiling at him and looking up at the mansion in front of me "I'm going to stay here for today and I don't know whether I'll be at school tomorrow...tell dad for me love you both" he kissed my head "call if you need anything doesn't matter the time" nodding and entering the home going up to my room changing my clothes and going to bed.
