To My Wayward Sons (Supernatural Poetry)

Real or Not Real?

I've been running away,

Disoriented and tired

Delirious and lost and losing

And no matter what I try,

Caffeine, drugs, all of the above

I can't get rid of him anymore.

Now I've gone for days

Without any sleep at all

Because he wouldn't let me,

Lucifer won't, you see?

He doesn't want me to know what's real.

Without that fragile wall

That Castiel tore down

To protect my soul against

The repressed memories

Of my days in the cage,

It's all coalescing together,

Reality and insanity.

Lucifer's trapped in my head

And he's doing all he can

To make my life a literal

Hell on earth...

But I still know what's not real.

Lucifer acts childishly,

Singing the same song

Fifty times over and over,

He taunts and teases me,

Laughing, yelling, grinning,

He makes my head hurt badly,

Puts maggots in my meal,

Conjures fantastic hallucinations,

And he morphs himself into

Basically everyone I see

Until I don't know who to trust...

But I know he's not real.

Lucifer wants me to be awake

For this entire damn nightmare.

He lights firecrackers,

And screams on a bullhorn

And screeches and complains

And makes all sorts of noises

Whenever I'm drifting to sleep

To keep me from succumbing

To the eternal oblivion of sleep

To keep me awake and half-dead

And to keep my head decaying fast...

But he's not real...is he?

Now I'm deteriorated, twitchy,

An insomniac, all messed-up,

And apparently mentally unstable.

I've always been broken anyway,

This might be the final straw

So maybe it's better that I stay

Here in this mental hospital

Maybe I'll be cured here, Dean

Or maybe I won't be forever.

But you can't save me anymore

And I can't risk myself out there

I'm a danger to everyone, Dean...

I don't know what's real.

Now Lucifer won't take me alive

He wants me cold and dead

From starvation, dehydration,

From insanity, and lack of sleep.

He wants to drag me back—

And maybe I should let him.

But I'm not crazy.

I'm not crazy.

I'm not.

You're not real.

You're not real.

You're not real.

You're not real.

You're not real...