{ 5SOS imagines and preferences }

{ you try to commit suicide }

Preference #3; You try to commit suicide.

WARNING; This may be triggering to some people, and I sincerely apologize if this makes anyone think of new ways to do this to themselves. I don't ever want anyone to hurt themselves in any way, so if you ever need anyone to talk to, just inbox me and we'll find a way for you to talk to me more directly and privately. Please, don't be afraid to tell someone. I'm here if you need me. My uncle committed suicide a few years ago, and that put me through some really tough times. I care about each and every one of you. I love you guys, stay strong for me.

Listen to 'Iris' by The Goo Goo Dolls while reading this.

Ashton:

Today. It was finally the day that you were going to end life. Your life. The only life that you would ever live. The depression, anxiety, and stress had all added up to this day that you had been planning for over three years. But little did you know that Ashton would come into your life and turn things completely upside down, make you happy. Things have been pretty bad over the past few months and it just made you more and more anxious for this day.

You and Ashton have been dating for over two years and he has yet to harm you or make you unhappy in any way. Sure, you've fought and nagged each other, but what couple doesn't have tiny fights here and there or disagreements once and a while?

You never intended to hurt Ashton by doing this, nor would you ever want him to think that it's his fault. It's something that you had been wanting to do for such a long time, so you wanted to stick to it. You know that this would end your chances of ever having a family with Ashton, finishing collage, have Ashton be your first time. Those were all things that you wanted, but it was time to go.

You knew Ashton wouldn't home for a while, so you walked up the stairs, shaking and sobbing so loudly, it felt like every memory you passed by in a photograph, they fell to the ground and smashed. All the memories that you had with everyone you love, all about to go down the drain. You walked to your shared bedroom with Ashton and reached under the bed. You pulled out the rope you were going to use. You stood up and tied the end of it around the ceiling fan and stood on a stool. You grabbed the rope that was about to touch your throat and said your last goodbyes to the world.

Little did you know, Ashton was watching you from the little crack that was in the doorway.

'Please, don't do it.' He thought, 'Please, just get down from there. Live. For me. Please.'

Just as you were about to knock the stool out from under your feet, Ashton barged in the room and grabbed you by the waist, pulling you off of the stool and dropping to the floor, holding your body against his. You flailed and screamed in his arms, trying to break free. After about five minutes, you have up and laid in his arms, sobbing mercilessly.

"Ashton, you shouldn't have done that," You screamed as loud as you could, which wasn't very loud, "I want to die. No, I really want to die." You cried in his arms for who knows how long, as Ashton painfully watched you be in the state you were in. It tore his heart in half to see his loving girlfriend want to die so much, because he had no idea how depressed you were, or how stressed out you were, or how suicidal you had been your whole life.

"Sh, baby. It's okay, I'm here. I'm always here." Ashton whispered in your ear, then placed a gentle kisses all over your face. The two of you sat in that position on the floor until the sun went down and the moon was shining through the curtains hanging on the windowsill.

"You know that you can come and talk to me, (Y/N). You can talk to me whenever you need to. Whether in half way around the world, at the studio, with the boys, on the bus, or whether I'm just across the hall, you can come and talk to me about anything and everything that you need to talk about. You can let it all out to me, I would never tell anyone anything that we talk about privately. I love you, (Y/N). I love you so much and you are so fucking beautiful, it literally breaks my heart in half seeing you like this." Ashton gave you that little speech and it made you tear up once again, luke warm tears streaming down your face.