The Kids Aren't Alright [Slash] [BoyxBoy]

Chapter Eleven: [Levee]

Trigger warning: Suicide, mentioned

Meeting with Olive has completely fucked me over.

I can't focus anymore. All I can think about is laying with him on his couch, holding his hand as we walked, falling asleep next to him. Intense regret embeds itself in my stomach every time I recall waking up to an empty bed, wishing I had woken up just a little bit earlier.

I stumble over to Violet's table at lunch, sitting and rubbing my eyes. She raises an eyebrow. "Rough night?"

"I didn't sleep well," I mutter. "Are you okay? You look like a mess."

Violet, usually having a quite outrageous style, sits at the lunch table in denim shorts and a black tank top. Her usually carefully placed hair is up in a messy bun, and dark bruises show through the makeup under her eyes.

She offers me a forced smile. "I'm good."

"Violet..." I bite my lip, anxiety getting the better of me for just a moment, before I nervously say, "You can- You can tell me. Did... Did something happen?"

She laughs softly, shaking her head. "Nothing happened." She pauses for a moment, before leaning forward and asking in a hushed voice, "Can I ask you something?" I hesitantly nod. "Do you... Do you like Olive?"

I let out a little laugh. "Yeah. I do. A lot."

She looks down, pushing her food around her tray. "Okay."

"What's wrong?" I ask quietly. She just shakes her head. "Are you... Afraid to meet your soul mates?"

Violet looks up at me, and she looks absolutely terrified. She hesitates for a long moment, before slowly nodding.

I keep my voice low. "Why?"

"What if they don't like me?" She whispers, as if people are eavesdropping on the conversation.

I tuck my hair behind my ear, gnawing on my bottom lip. Her question is a knife in my stomach, an echo of my own thoughts. Every time I meet a new person, even when Violet herself sat next to me for the first time, the same sentence rings through my head. What if they don't like me? What if I do something wrong? Will they say something? Hell, it was my excuse for not meeting my own soul mate.

Still, I stutter out a weak, "W-what?"

"What if..." She swallows, closing her eyes. "What if the only people who are supposed to understand me, can't?"

Without thinking, I reach forward and take her hand. She looks at me, her eyes watering. "Soul mates don't always work out." I think of my parents, and suppress the thought. "But a lot of the time they do."

She laughs weakly, shaking her head. "14% success rate."

"Violet, haven't you figured it out?" I ask. "They're tricking us. The success rate is so low because nobody ever tries. They take 'soul mate horror stories' and blow them up. That combined with the success rate is supposed to scare us."

Recognition crosses her face. "How did I not notice that?"

I smile, looking down. "Because it makes a lot of sense." I let out a small sigh and meet her eyes. "You should meet them. At least one. Remember- Remember- Soul mates aren't destined to fall in love. Do you even want to?"

Chuckling, she shakes her head. "No. Not right now."

I shrug and pull away. "You don't have to."

"Thanks, Levee," she says softly. She smiles. "I feel better. Now it's your turn. Why didn't you sleep last night?"

I raise my eyebrows, surprised. "Oh- Uh, ha, Olive says I have insomnia."