Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man

My Pal, Who Is A Hero, And Has Pizza

(Spider-Man is swinging through the night sky, not to get to a crime scene or because he's late for school, but just because. These moments are therapeutic for him.)

SPIDEY: (while swinging) "Ok, college orientation tomorrow..." (He talks to FRIDAY) "FRIDAY, you mind setting an alarm on my phone for 7 AM?"

FRIDAY: "Not at all, sir. May I ask how you are feeling about college."

SPIDEY: "I honestly don't know what I'm doing. Hopefully, there's just so much responsibility involved with being a college student, y'know? Like, everything I do now adds to what my career will be in the future. Sometimes I just feel-"

FRIDAY: "Sorry to interrupt, sir, but you have an incoming transmission from a Johnny Storm."

SPIDEY: "Oh, ok. Go ahead and pull him up, please."

JOHNNY: "What's up web-head?"

SPIDEY: "Hey hot-head? I'm just swinging, what's up with you?"

JOHNNY: "Well, I got a slice of pizza with your name on it. I'm on top of Avengers Tower right now if you wanna claim it."

SPIDEY: (enthusiastically) "Dude, I'm on my way."

(Cut to Spider-Man swinging on top of Avengers Tower, where we see Johnny Storm standing with his arms crossed and a table with a box of pizza on it.)

JOHNNY: "Whaddup Spidey! How's the college student feeling?"

SPIDEY: "Hungry." (He takes off his mask and eagerly grabs a slice of pizza to devour.)

JOHNNY: "How's Aunt May dealing with you leaving and all?"

SPIDEY: "Terrible, it's like a really bad break-up. A really bad break-up."

JOHNNY: "Oh, like that time with the one guy who worked at the video store?"

SPIDEY: "Like that, but with way more tears...and less ice cream."

JOHNNY: "Ah, I see..."

SPIDEY: "Hey, the pizza is a little cold. Do you mind...?"

JOHNNY: "Oh, right." (He snaps his finger and a little flame bursts and stabilizes over his finger: oh yeah, that's right, he's the Human Torch. He puts the flame over the pizza and roasts it, melting the cheese and warming the pizza in general.) "I think that'll be fine."

(^^Just an example of what I mean.^^)
SPIDEY: (takes a bite and smiles) "Yup, perfect."

JOHNNY: "I don't see why you're so worried about college, dude. You just have to relax, do your work, and-oh my god dude, the girls you'll meet in college?"

SPIDEY: "You think it'll help me get my mind off MJ? Cause I don't know if you heard, but-"

JOHNNY: "Yeah, everyone heard. MJ broke up with you. Your transmission was on that day and everyone heard everything."

SPIDEY: "Everything?"

JOHNNY: "Everything."

SPIDEY: "And everyone?"

JOHNNY: "Everyone."

SPIDEY: "Oh. Well that's awkward." (He takes a bite of his pizza.)

JOHNNY: (takes a bite) "I don't see what you're so worried about...with girls, I mean. This is exactly what you need to get your mind off MJ, dude. She's moving on, doing her thing! You should be happy for her, but that doesn't meant you can't make yourself happy. Any chicks in your mind lately?"

SPIDEY: "Well, there was one girl at the movie theater that I really hit it off with."

JOHNNY: "Well, there ya go! Go to the movie theater tomorrow afternoon, what is it? A Saturday? That's perfect, just head over there and ask to go on a date!"

SPIDEY: (getting pumped up) "Yeah?" (But suddenly, he remembers something...) "I have class orientation tomorrow. It's like where I get my schedule, textbooks, talk to the dean. I'm gonna be swamped tomorrow."

JOHNNY: "Oh ok, how about the day after tomorrow?"

SPIDEY: "Yeah, I'll see what I can do." (He gets up.) "Who knew you'd be so good at this stuff, man?"

JOHNNY: "Well, I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I do know my biology..."

(Spider-Man looks at him, wondering if he knew what he said wrong, but Johnny just continues to smile.)

SPIDEY: "Uh...you mean chemistry?"

JOHNNY: "Either way, I can burst into flames at any point, so take that science!"

(Spider-Man smiles as he puts on his mask and swings away.)