Small Town Love

The Big Day :Part two

My doctors had just giving me the  anesthesia and were going over the surgery for the 19th time, and yes I did count them. "....Then after we remove some of the lymph nodes, if needed we will carefully stick you back up. Ok, do have an questions before we start?" The doctor asked looking me in the eyes. "Yea, I got just one." I said and held up one finger. I must of looked and or sounded pretty funny because a few of the nurses and doctors started to laugh. "Ok, what is it?" He asked trying not to laugh. "Why doesn't this look like it does on all the doctor shows my mom watches?" And that was the last thing I remembered before I started to dream. 

I seemed to have dream, after dream, after dream, I had so many I forgot most of them but a few did stay with me for a while. One was about my uncle Mark who passed away in a motorcycle accident. To be honest seeing him scared me and I thought I had died and I was in heaven. But that was when I saw my older brother,Thomas and a younger me with him. We were at his old beach house in Alabama, it was  night time and we were out catching ghosts crabs, like we used when I was little. In the dream me and my brother were haveing a competition to see who could get the biggest crab, but the dream shifted before I could see who won. The next dream was about Ryan, it was an exact replay of the night we took care of his sister May, it was perfect. More dreams came and went until I woke up.

When my eye lids fluttered open I saw my mom, dad, brother and of course Ryan. I went to say something but immediately stopped, it felt like some one was stabbing me in the neck. I reached my hands up and gently felt my neck their was a bandage rapped around it. I started to have a panic atack and then my dad looked over and saw me with tears running down my face. "Hey Bug. You're ok. I know it hurts the doctors will be right back to give you some more pain killers ok?" He said as he walked over to me to wipe away my tears. Then I heard my mom's soothing voice, "Try to close your eyes and rest until the doctors come back." As I layed on my back I started at the white tiles on the ceiling and began to count all the little black indentions. "...132.....133.......134......135..." I counted in my head until my docto came in. "Ok miss CJ, you have been out of surgery for about 3 hours now. Your pain medication should be, if they haven't already, wearing off. Your nurse will come in and give you an IV to help ease the pain and help you sleep. You won't be able to talk for a few days, but I don't think that will be too big of an issue. Your mother told me about the gestures and hand signals you and your...... Boyfriend?" I half expect my family to correct him but Ryan just nodded and I smiled a bit "so yes you and your boyfriend created to help you communicate, they will come in handy these next few days but for now you need to rest. Are your breathing tubes ok, because if they are uncomfortable we can change the sizing out?" I hadn't even realized that had a tube coming out of both my nostrils and connecting to a breathing machine. Since I hadn't noticed them I decided they were fine so I just made an ok signal with my hand. " ok then let's go ahead and change your IV then." He said as he stepped out to get the nurse.

When he came back he had everything he needed to get my new IV started. He hung the drip bag and was about to stick the needle in when I flinched. Have I mentioned I hate needles? Well I do, a lot. I held my hand out for either my dad, brother or Ryan to take. My wouldn't take it because she also hates needles. Ryan was the first one to see my steched put hand and took it. "It's ok, I'm right here" he said and placed his other hand on top of mine. I smiled which made him smile, and I didn't even notice that they put my IV in. I stated to feel very tired and I slowly fell asleep looking at Ryan's smile, as we both were still holding hands.