Small Town Love

Finishing Up

Cj's pov

This morning I woke up and could barely move with out instantly getting exhausted. My time was running out. I managed to call for Ryan. When he got here my mom was with him. "Are you ok?" Asked frantically. I nodded and looked at Ryan.  "How much longer do we have in our book?" I asked. "One more chapter, do you want to finish it today?" He asked and I nodded. My mom handed me the book before walking out. 

Ryan got his book and went to sit over in the chair in the corner of my room. I gave him a confused look. "Why can't you sit with me?" I asked pouting and pretending to be hurt. He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Scooch." He commanded and I did my best to make space for him. Once I moved he climbed under the cover and sat with me I rested my head on his chest and listened as he read aloud from where we left off the day before. With in less than 15 minutes we finished the book, it took us a little longer to read because we are both dyslexic. I looked over at him. "Want to watch the movie?" I asked and he nodded and went to go get it. He came back and put it in. As the previews played Ryan and I got  readjusted on my small bed so we could both see the tv, but for to still rest my head on his chest. We loved sitting like that for no real reason.

As we watched the movie played I would glance up at Ryan every now and then and he would be smiling. Ever since he found out I was dying he quit smiling. I couldn't help but feel like his depression was coming back and that it was my fault. I just didn't want happened in his dream actually happen. It would be all my fault, no he told me to quit blaming myself. 

After the movie we decided to just stay in bed and watch tv all day. We eventually migrated to the living room and were laying on the couch we watched all sorts of movies from Marvel, Romance comidies and everything in between. As dinner came around we were getting ready to get up when my brother brought two plates of pizza into the living room handing one to each of us before going back to grab one for himself. He sat down on the recliner, "Don't make a mess is all mom said.l he said before taking a huge bite of his food. We were never, and I mean never, allowed to eat in the living room. We all sat and watched one of the Harry Potter movies, I honestly had no clue wich one we were on at this point. 

As we finished up our dinner we got ready for bed. I had just gotten on my pjs and Ryan was finishing up in the bathroom after his shower. After he left the restroom I went in to brush my teeth. I was brushing my teeth then all of a sudden I felt arms rap around my waist and pull me into a hug from be hind. I looked up to see Ryan. He smiled and wouldn't let go, I said something that was clearly not English signaling that I needed to spit so he finally loosened his grip but didn't let me go. I wiped my mouth off with a washcloth and turned to face him. I accidentally ended up tangling both of us in my breathing tubes. We both just laughed. Standing so close to him I could smell that smell that guys have when they get out of the shower, you know what smell I'm talking about. The fresh yet manly smell. I laughed at my own thoughts. 

"What?" Ryan asked referring to my Auden out Burt of giggles. "Nothing. And do you need something, I'm trying to get ready for bed." I asked. He sighed and let go of me grabbing my fans and gently leading me to my room. He looked like he was about to break down in tears. "I don't want to make this too sad but I'm probably going to fail. I guess I'm just trying to finish up...... no that sounds bad but I guess that's what I'm doing in a nutshell. But I just need you to know that I love you. And I'm going to miss you forever, you were my first love, I honestly don't know how I'll could ever love another woman like I've loved you for all these years. And I'm sorry, I'm trying to it let this all get to me but it's hard, the nightmares are getting worse and my depression is coming back. I'm starting therapy in a few days to help cope with all of this as my parents say. And I just don't want you to be upset with me if I can't fight this, I know you have it much worse than I do right now and I honestly have no clue what I thought telling you this was going to accomplish but I'm sorry......" he trailed off. I looked at him knew exactly what was happening. This happened when his grandfather died a few years back, he got really depressed and his nightmares got worse he would only trust me at that time, but now who would he trust that I'm gone? I decided not to think about that at the moment, I was still here I could still comfort him. I walked over and wrapped my arms around his neck. He cried silently into my shoulder. I rubbed his back and in a calm soothing voice spoke to him. "I love you too, Ryan. Now, we both need some sleep." I pulled away from the hug and kissed him on the cheek. 

"Goodnight I'll see you in the morning." He said kissing right back on the cheek. I'm not sure how or why but I felt like this time that might not be true. He went to walk out of my room. "Wait," I said so quitly I'm surprised he heard me "Ryan, will you stay with me, just until I fall asleep et least." He nodded and lead me to the bed and climbed in soon after I got situated. "I'll never leave you." I heard him whispering over and over as I layed with my eyes closed trying to fall asleep. For some reason my body didn't want to sleep though. After about 10 minutes I finally slipped into a heavy yet light sleep. It was a peaceful and dreamless sleep. 

After some time my eyes fluttered open.