Small Town Love

Good Bye

It's been really hard lately thinking about chemo. I had the choice to shave my head before I actually stated but I was still on the fence about it. Me and Ryan were at the library trying to find a new series to read together, we've always read together since we first met it was our way of motivating ourselves and each other to read. As we were look through the shelves Ryan must've noticed I was thinking a lot. "What's on your mind? Is everything ok, love?" He asked putting a book back on the shelf. I shrug and just say "Chemo, losing my hair & this thing." I say pointing to my oxygen tank. "Oh. Well I've been thinking about that and my suggested that I should slash could shave my head too, to show my support for you. And I think I'm going to." He said looking at me to see my reaction. "Absolutely not!" I said a bit too loud and causing people to look up at us. Me and Ryan just chuckled. "No, that very sweet but no. I love your hair. And some has to have the good hair in this relationship, plus if you shave you head I'll have nothing to run my fingers through." I said as I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair. He blushed and kissed me on the cheek. "If you say so." He said grabbing another book off the shelf. It was the Maze Runner by James Dashner "Why haven't we read this?" He asked handing me the book I just shrugged "Hey look another copy. What do you say, you wanna read it?" He asked his eyes lighting up like a toddler on his birthday. I giggled and nodded my head yes. 

After we checked out the books I called my mom to come get us. As we got in the car I looked at my mom and asked "Mom, do we have scissors and an electrical razor at home, in ready to shave my head?" Her eyes widened as did Ryan's. She shook her head yes. "Yea, um I'll find them when we get home." She said smiling at my decision. When we got home she found the scissors and razor and she covered the bathroom floor with thrashbags to make clean up easier. She set the scissors down "Who do you want to do it?" She asked look at my reflection. "Can me and Ryan do it?" I asked as I sat down on the stool. She looked worried but then gave in "Sure but come get me or your dad to help with the razor, ok?" She asked. I nodded and she left the room.

Ryan picked up the scissors and brought them up to my hair. "Wait we need to get a Before picture." I said as I grabbed my phone and took a good old classic mirror selfie. Me and Ryan both did our signature face mine bing a small lip bite and raised eyebrows and his being a goofy toothless grin and eyes squeezed shut. We are so weird but the picture was actually really cute I posted it on Snapchat and Facebook with the caption "Before" 

"You ready?" He asked grabbing the scissors once again. I turned around so I wasn't facing the mirror and nodded my head yes. After a minute or two of cutting Ryan called for my dad to help shave the rest off. 

Once they were finished I stood up and ran my hand over my head and looked down there was so much hair. I started to panic slightly, but Ryan just took my hand kissed my cheek "You look beautiful." He whispered. I turned around. It was gone. My security blanket was gone. I always used my hair as a way to hide from people, hide my anxiety, hide my insecurities, to hide who I was. But now it's gone. I stated to giggle a little and Ryan looked at me like I had gone crazy. "Dang I make this look good. Don't I?" A I said turning to look at Ryan who busted up laughing. "Let's take the after picture now he said handing me my phone. I held up the phone and we made the same faces as before. "I like this one better." I mumbled as I went to post it to Snapchat and Facebook with the before photo, but this time I captioned it "Goodbye"