Small Town Love

Clear

When I woke up again from surgery I went through the same not being able to open my eyes thing. But when I did they stayed open, but I was still hooked up to tons of machines. Then I realized something. I couldn't feel anything. You don't really realize how much you feel your body just being there until you can't feel it anymore. I tried to stay calm and breathe but then I head my heart machine start being faster with my increasing heart rate and I knew that wasn't good. Then I saw my family being rushed out of the room and my doctors coming in. I didn't even see my family here. "Ryan, you need to calm down and breathe, your under enough stress as it is. If you don't calm down your heart could fail." Well, why would you tell me that? That makes me panic more. Then a breathing mask was put over my mouth to help me breath. I calmed down some. 

I layed there with the doctors staring at me until I was breathing normally. I had been up for maybe 5 minutes and I was already exhausted. I went to move my hand to take off the mask because I could breathe now, but when I went to make my arm it didn't. Instead of freaking out I just wiggled my face around and lucky one of the doctors got the memo and took the mask off. "You won't be able to talk, and so we will explain everything we can." I blinked to signal I understood. "Ok, well when the truck hit you it shattered your right femer, which is your thigh bone. It was so severely shattered then nothing we could do would save the leg, so we had to amputate. The impact also caused major bruising all on your right side, you have 7 broken ribs total, 3 on the right, and 4 on the left from hitting the ground we think. You also have a  fractured wrist on the left, you had a dislocated shoulder but we put that back. You also had blood filled up in you lungs, one of you ribs that broke made its was to puncture your left lung and it filled with blood. You hit your head pretty hard causing a fractured skull and a brain hemorrhage, or bleeding in the brain. Lastly the impact of both the truck and hitting the asphalt cased major damage to your spine, Ryan you are paralyzed from the neck down." My breathing hitched and the mask was placed back on, I didn't even care. Let me freak out, I'm paralyzed, I can't do much now, let me die. 

I I layed there freaking out my breathing got short and shaky, I could here my heart machine beeping faster and faster with my increasing heart rate. My doctors were trying to get me to calm down but I wouldn't have it. I could feel my self getting tired and dizzy even though I was laying down. "Get the pattles ready!" My vision went fuzzy. Then black. "Clear!" My body jolt upwards. "Again! Clear!" My body jolted again. "Let's try one more time." 

"Clear!"