NF 2 [COMPLETED]

Saturday, April 29 2017

😞😞😤

^ basically my feelings.

So Gavin came to see me. We was playing and he almost kissed me, which I wasn't ready for. When I was in his arms, I felt like everything was perfect. I felt protected and safe. TBH I'm starting to care for him.

We were by ourselves, and I asked him, "What are we? What am I to you?"

He said, he gotta handle some things first. After that I went off, my feelings were crush that I'm still not his.

I said:

"Is it that fucking hard? I didn't say you had to stop being cool with these hoes, just don't lead them on. Like you doing me! Do you know how I feel? You making me look stupid as the fuck! People steady mistaken us as a couple. And we still ain't together. I told you prove to me you want me, hell but all you did was lie. Hell if you wanted time to work on yourself, you should've told me! I would have understand because I the one who needed time in the beginning. Ugh I mad because you lied to me, hell maybe I wouldn't be this mad. We could've just stayed friends for all that. So what now? "

Gavin - We should just do what you said.

Tatyana - What did I say?

Gavin - We should remain friends.

At the moment I was on the verge of crying, I'm so tired of this shidd. God does not want me to be with him. I guess all this a joke.

Soon they left.

But he called me talking about we needed to talk.

In the back of my head, I began to imagine about what he wanted to say. I imagined that he would ask me out again, and he finally say goodbye to those hoes.

...
We was on FaceTime he asked if we were to go out would we go places.

I began to act ballistic!
"You are a fucking joke! You don't care about my feelings, just about whether we doing something or not. It's funny how I care so much for you, in return you don't give a fuck."

Then he the audacity to hang up on me.

He called back and I answered.
He started laughing and was not taking me serious so I hanged up.

He called back and I answered. And he said " I like you, it's just I'm not ready to be serious".

I felt like I was heartbroken yet again, but I really wasn't. I felt rejection. I just wanted time to myself.

So I hung up.

He called me again and I was debating should I answer it. But eventually I did.
He asked me "Are you mad, please don't be mad at me."

I told him "I'm mad, yeah I'm pissed. There's nothing you can say to me, to make stop being mad, you know what stop calling me if you don't know what you want to say. "

And with that I hanged up once again.

I was left alone with my thoughts and dwelt on me that it's to say goodbye to relationships again, I'm back anti sexuality!

I don't like no one!

✌🏿