I turn in bed, tired, nervous, anxious. So anxious. My chest felt tight and the thoughts of everything that could go bad enters my mind.
What if the tux is wrinkled?
What if the veil rips?
What if I trip in front of everyone?
What if Harry leaves?
What if he says I don't?
What if
What if
What if
I bring my knees to my chest in the position that had always helped me calm down but I couldn't stop thinking about all the terrible possibilities. I couldn't stop thinking about the worse. I wanted Harry to be here, to reassure me that nothing would ever happen, that nothing could ever happen. I wanted him to tell me that it would all be okay, that tomorrow was going to be perfect and so were the days to come. I grab my phone, calling him. I'm quiet, making sure to not wake up Gemma or any of the other girls who had camped out in my room to make sure that Harry wouldn't sneak in.
"Harry," I whispered into the phone. From his end I can still hear the party going, I can hear boys cheering and asking for more drinks.
"Hi baby," his slow and deep voice fills my ear, he doesn't sound drunk which makes me feel slightly better, "how's the party?"
"We're all in bed, it's two am," I whispered, hugging my knees tighter, "how about you?"
"The boys and I left to my hotel room, the guys are just having a drink and watching some movie, but I'm tired and I don't know how to kick them out," he admits and I bet he's pouting slightly, "and I miss you."
My hands slightly shake and I keep imagining walking to an empty alter. I sniffle, "Harry," I say, "are you sure we're ready?"
I hear shuffling on the other side and I imagine he's moving to a silent location, I'm right when I don't hear the boys and I hear a door shut, "hey hey," he coos, "of course I'm ready Y/N I wouldn't ask you otherwise."
A silent sob leaves my lips, "I'm really scared," I admit.
"Of what baby," he asks, "don't cry lease don't cry."
"I feel like something is going to go wrong," I admit, walking out of the hotel room I resided in, I'm sure to be as silent as possible.
"Nothing is going to go wrong I promise," he assures me, "I love you and you love me and that's all that matters."
"There are so many people," I say. Harry's parents loved me, but some of his other family members didn't, and I have met a lot of people on his side which meant tomorrow was the day. My parents who were divorced and could never stop arguing were going to be in the same room, I could already tell there would be a fight.
"We can have the ceremony with close family and invite everyone else to the reception," Harry says, "we can do whatever you want, this day is about you."
I pace the hallway my hands gripping the phone tighter and another sob leaves my lips, "I'm just really overwhelmed," I cried, "a-and I can't stop thinking about everything that could go wrong and everyone is snoring and I can't sleep," I say in between hiccups.
