I Need U

11

Namjoon, remember when, a couple of days after our debut as rappers, I became very ill. I couldn't stand by myself. I couldn't pick things up or hold them for long periods of time. I even found it terribly difficult to speak or even think without getting migraines. It was horrible but I made look endurable for you. Because when you see me hurt. You will stop at nothing to make me better. But what I had wouldn't get better it would only get worse. That was the price to pay for what I did.

I was sent to the hospital for three months. You weren't allowed to visit. Only the CEO and our manager were allowed. Everyday i became even worse then the one before. But they couldn't keep me there forever. Other, more important people deserved the place I laid doing nothing. So when i was released, i was weak, frail, fragile and depressed but as soon as i walked through our dorm door you came bouldering over.

Your eyes were red raw and puffy, your skin full of blemishes, your clothes were all scruffy and unkept. You took me into your embrace and cried. You let everything out. I'd never seen you this worked up before. But you refused to let me go for half an hour. I even gladly accepted it.

After that i went to my bedroom: leaving the door open and went straight to bed. I looked to the side of my bed, you had obviously been sleeping in my bedroom. The bed was messing, my bed side table had your phone and charger on it, but it also had a picture of us before debut: when we were allowed to date. We had matching rings in the photo. I still have it.

I regret it...