I Need U

15

Namjoon, remember when your fiance was walking down the aisle. She looked way prettier then i would be able to in that dress. Eccentric aqua lace adorned her petite frame, smothering the white silk that lay underneath. I looked back at you and you didn't have a readable expression. I couldn't tell whether you were angry or annoyed. I couldn't tell if you didn't want to marry her. You were confusing me about your emotions. That was scaring me.

You were being the good son you always were. You never said no to your parents, nor did you refuse to do anything you didn't want to do. You made sure people were happy with their choices. You never looked after your own feelings, emotions, you were completely selfless. I admired this about you. Even if I'd prefer you to be a little selfish.

But what you didn't know was that you had already lost the most precious person to you. When you said
"i do.".
Without hesitation.

i ran as fast as i could, my shoes falling off in the hall, drifting from my sight, as I drifted from yours. I ran to the cliff, sat on the edge and pondered if my life was worth living. I reminisced about my past, I lost my parents, I left my career in the gutter, i didn't care if i reached my dreams anymore. That didn't matter as much as you did. I didn't care what would happen in the future, because you weren't in my future anymore. Soon you would learn to love your wife, forgetting about me in the process. I should have known that you wouldn't have been a part of my picture.

I regret it...