I Have Faith In Ye

I'm sorry

You drove carefully yet, quickly, away from that entire event.

"Can we please turn on the radio now David?"

He ends another song. "I guess." he sets the guitar in the backseat.

It seemed to barely work. Panic! At The Disco's cover of Bohemian Rhapsody was on.

"This song is weird." David said.

"Shut up. It's good."

He rolled his eyes.

"No escape from reality, open your eyes, look up to the skies and see. I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy."

"Ugh."

"I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low. Any way the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me."

"Okay I can listen but stop singing please."

"Mama, life had just begun, but now I've gone and thrown it all away."

"(Y/N) I understand please stop your totally killin me."

You stopped singing. "See it's bad."

He smiled. "I do see and I'm still not sorry."

"Guess I'll keep going."

"Nonononono I'm sorry." he nodded his head.

You smile. "Yeah, it's gonna be a long ride."

You drove mostly in silence, until you finally pulled into the driveway of Abbie's house. It had been a few hour drive, but you made it by dawn.

You walk in, remembering the key under the second flower pot to the left.

You didn't hear anyone awake, so you took a deep breath in and walked in. Your leg hurt so much going up the stairs, so you started swinging it up each step as David silently chuckled at you.

This wasn't funny to you, but you will let him have it because it's been rough.

Once you got situated in your room, David walked in with an actual first aid kit. "Do you wanna try and do this now? Or do ya wanna wait?"

"Now's good I guess." You prop your leg up on a few pillows.

He walks over and you wince.

"What? I haven't even touched you."

"That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt."

He rolled his eyes and started to properly set it, so it heals the way it's supposed to.

He tried to smile and tell jokes to keep your spirits high.

It didn't really work.

You tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and laugh, and happily carry along while he tended to your leg.

Looking at the clock next to your bed you groan. It was 3:53.

That was such an inconvenience.

He kept babbling on about something, when it caught your eye.

A small frail looking box on the nightstand. It was the box.

It held the engagement ring.

You could feel something inside of you snap.

What if you would have died? You wouldn't have given him an answer and now you felt terrible.

What if he doesn't even care anymore?

It tore you apart just thinking about it, and you couldn't just ask blatantly.

But the feeling, that was desperately trying to claw its way out of your mouth knew better. You didn't want to start something at a time like this.

He looked at you, his eyes piercing yours, he asked. "Are you okay (Y/N)? You seem out of it."

"Yeah, I'm fine."

That's when he looked confused. "I know for a fact that you aren't, that you're gonna fly back to LA, act like everything's okay, and everything's normal. But it's not. It never will be. And you're gonna act like I forgot about the ring and not being it up for awhile and we will both carry on with life. But if I know anything, which I know things, maybe not relevant or smart things, but I'm not letting you off the hook that easily."

You drop your jaw.

He sits down next to you. "I really don't think that you want to try to beat me up, because right now you're at the disadvantage, so let's talk it out."

"David it's almost four in the morning."

"Then we talk later, but this-" he motioned to the room, and the tension you suppose. "Isn't going away any time soon."

"I'm sorry."

He puts his hand on your knee. "Honestly I most definitely see where your coming from. It's a lot to handle."

You lean further into your pillow.

"And it's okay, I don't want to pressure ye into anything but I mean, we can't dwell on one moment forever."

"I understand completely my dude." You say as a strand of hair falls in your face.

"Get some sleep." he leans over and kisses your forehead.

As he was walking out of the room you smiled and threw you hand up.

"Stay."

He looked back at you. "Are you sure?"

You nod in the dimly lit room.

You both lay motionless, bodies snuggled together.

You can see the problem. Plain as day.

It was you. It had always been you. No matter what, it was your fault.

People always say it's not. But then why are always in these situations?

Because you were destined for trouble since day one.

All the time that you had spent wondering why, or how, you should've spent wondering why you did this to yourself.

This was all your fault, and for once, it had severely hurt your closest friends.

This is the time you decide to put an end to all of this.

All if the playing, all of the pain.

All of the random bullshit that you have caused your friends to endure.

You were so done, so sick of it all, and now you had one chance, to get it all over with. 

The only problem is you could risk everything.

The only problem is

You took that chance.