Shattering Love

Chapter 41: Is Our Love Strong Enough

Before you read this chapter get out your box of tissues. What you are about to read is probably one of my favorite chapters in the entire series. It's also the longest chapter I've ever wrote. My chapters are usually around 1,000 words each,and this chapter is 3,027 words long before this little message I'm typing. Be prepared to cry. I did and I'm the one that wrote it. Without any further a due, the next chapter:

Cameron's P.O.V.
Why am I doing this? I'm parked outside of my old apartment. I hold on to the steering wheel with both of my hands. Breathe Cameron. I unbuckle my seatbelt slowly. I pull down the mirror and look at myself. Have these bags been under my eyes this whole time. And look at how worn out I look. Is Nash right? Have I really let myself go? I step out out of the car. I reach back inside, grabbing my bag. I strap it over my shoulders. Is this actually happening? He cheated on you Cameron. What are you doing? I knock on the door. No response. I knock a few more times. Ok here it goes. I slide my key into the lock. I twist it, unlocking the door, allowing me access into the apartment. I walk in, slowly shutting the door behind me. My heart is beating so fast. It's feels like I'm walking into a bear's cave. My eyes are moving everywhere as I observe what's become of my old home. Garbage and dirty clothes liter the floor, the dank smell of dirty socks and body odor filling the living room. What has happened to Shawn? I thought he'd be perfectly ok. I thought the apartment would look amazing.
Call out to Shawn dude. Do it. Just say his name. I listen quietly, and hear a very small crying sound coming from the bedroom. Is that him? Why's he crying? Well, I'm about to find out. Here I go. Could my heart even physically beat faster? "Shawn." I say. My voice sounds so strange to me. I hear the quiet cry stop for a second. "Shawn?" I say again. I feel like crying and I haven't even seen him yet. The bedroom door opens. I am greeted with a horrible looking Shawn; sweatpants and no shirt on. Cute but so worn out looking. His hair is pointed in all different directions, his eyes are bloodshot. Tears are stained all over his cheeks.

"Cameron?" he asks.

"Hi Shawn." I say. They're so many things I want to do right now. I want to ask him how his day was. I wanna hold him in my arms. I wanna rub my fingers over his cheeks, drying his tears. I wanna open the blinds and let the sunlight in. I want to hold him close and tell him how much I love him. But instead I need to talk. I deserve to know why.

"What are you doing here Cameron?" he asks. I look around the apartment. I finally look back at him and lock our eyes. He didn't ask it rudely. He said it like it was a nice surprise that I was here.

"I came to talk to you." I see his nose sniffle.

"Cameron." he says crying. "I know you don't love me. Please can you just stop rubbing it in my face. I didn't wanna hurt you Cameron. I didn't mean to hurt you. I can barely handle waking up in the morning without you, let alone being criticized by you." He turns around to walk back into the bedroom. I grab his wrist, turning him around.

"Why would you think I don't love you? If anything I think I should be the one that thinks you don't love me. You're the one that cheated Shawn." I say loudly. He laughs as tears roll down his face.

"You don't understand." he says laughing as tears strolled down his face. What the hell?

"I don't understand Shawn? What the hell could you possibly mean I don't understand? What's there to understand? You lied to me. You cheated on me. You betrayed me." He just laughs, looking up at the ceiling in response.

"Just go Cameron." he says, bring his hand up to dry he tears.

"No Shawn. I refuse to leave. I'm done wallowing in pain over you. I deserve to know why. I deserve to know how. I deserve a reason."