Dear Josh..
You. Death. You. Death.
A contining circle of thoughts. No start. No end.
Where are you Josh?
What did you do to deserve this?
Why aren't you here?
But you are here, aren't you?
You're right here.
Next to me.
Your face is so sweet in the morning. Your hazel eyes. Your perfect smile.
You put your arm around me. "Everything is alright" you said. "I'm here with you, don't worry."
Just hearing your voice made me feel immediatly normal and calm. I leaned in on your shoulder, my head leaning into your neck.
We had a long convosation. About you. About me. About us. How you loved me. How I loved you. How we loved eacother. How you were here. How I was here. How we were together.
Everything was perfect.
Had you been here all along? Had I not noticed you? Had I been ignoring you? What if I had been ignoring you? What if you hated me secretly?
"Josh, where have you been? Have I been ignoring you? what happened? Wha-" I cut off as I caught your gaze, a small half smile creeping onto your face.
Your mouth opened but no words. Why? What? Why can't you speak? What's happening?
I went to carres your face. Your whole body faded like a cloud of smoke, disapearing into the distance away from my grasp. Gone. You were gone.
Where? Where.
Love Jen
