Dear Josh..
Today would be the day Josh. Soon I will be with you. We can be happy again. Together.
Sam was sleeping. He wouldn't know anything.
I lifted myself from the corner, my bones cracking as I used the wall to pull me up.
I spent a few minutes standing there.
Walking over towards the bed I saw the cupboard just above the headboard was open. I hadn't touched it so who had?
In the cupboard was a set of photos from our holidays. One of us by the beach kissing. I cringed but on the inside I wanted that moment back. The next photo was of us at Christmas by the tree pulling a cracker together. I remember that moment clearly. That was the first christmas we were together. Next was a selfie. We were both pulling rediculous faces yet this was the most wounderful picture of us. It shows pur true crazy selves. Thats what i loved about you. About us.
I put the photos aside. I looked further to the back of the cupboard and found sone of your t-shirts. It smelt of you. Of your specific scent that nobody could recreate. I put on the t-shirt. I wanted to be with you one last time. To be in your arms. Or atleest it felt like it.
Lastly I found a journal. Your journal. The one that you hid away all of the time. The one that was locked with a key that I never knew which one it was. The one that you never let out of your sight. The one that I so desperatly wanted to read.
You're going to hate me fore this. You really are going to hate me.
Love Jen
