{I'm skipping so many days I know, DONT HATE ME}
Dear Josh..
Intricate scabs line my wrists. I stopped cutting my wrists for you. I knew how much you would hate it. So I stopped. I stopped. But I also stopped eating.
My stomach growls like an angry dog but I simply don't have the will to eat. I don't want to. I can't. The thought of having something enter my body sickens me after the huge loss. The loss of blood. The loss of weight. The loss of you.
There is no way to release the pain. Through my blood? No. Through my wieght? Doesn't work. Through my death?
No. NO!
But I could be with you?
DON'T THINK LIKE THAT!
I want to be with you.
Jen stop.
I need to be with you.
Jennifer Shrader Lawrence stop thinking like that.
You understand don't you Josh? I ask you this alot. I know. But you do, don't you? You understand? You must! You do!
Thoughts circle in my mind. You. Pain. You. Self-harm. You. Death.
STOP IT.
Love Jen
