Dear Josh..
I tried to stay with you, I really did but before I knew it I was asleep and I awoke without you. Our bed is so cold now. I miss your warmth when we cuddle and when you would play with my hair untill I fell asleep.
I expected to wake up next to you or in your arms but it was just me and the rain hammering at the windows. I expected to see your beautiful hazel eyes and your adorable smile but I was alone. I expected the smell of fresh pancakes with cream in the shape of a heart. I expected for you to gently wipe the cream from the corner of my mouth before carefully kissing nose. I expected the awful smell of your morning body odour which I loved so much. But it's all gone now Josh. It's all gone and so are you.
I rolled over onto your side where you would lie. Your smell filled my nose and immediatly I wanted you there. I needed you there. I needed your presence just to give me a reason to get up and live life.
The more I think about you the more the pain in my heart grows. Each and every minute feels like an hour without you here to make it pass by. Your jokes used to be the best. They were the worst jokes ever made but they made me giggle even in the worst situation. This, this situation is the worst of all. You would be right here with me now telling me one of your aweful jokes.
I need you here Joshy. I need you.
Love Jen
