Beneath the Dark

Chapter nineteen: What's wrong with me?

    I stared at the TV screen like the movie was the most interesting thing I’d ever seen. Valerie laid her head on my shoulder stroking my leg.

“Hey sexy, pay me a little attention?” she purred into my ear.  I slightly pushed her off me trying not to make a big deal about it. 

“Watch the movie please,” I said trying to get her face out of my mind.  What was this girl doing to me?  When I had seen my words cause tears to spring into her eyes it was like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and devoured by a lion.  Not to mention the sick repulsion I got thinking of her being with some guy.  I had never felt this way before and it was scaring me more then I cared to admit.

“But I rather watch you,” she said nibbling on my neck but I didn’t get the sudden passion like I usually do I just gave her a bored look.

“Please Valerie this is a pretty good movie,” I pleaded with her one more time.

“What’s wrong with you?”  Valerie said pushing herself off of me.

“I’m just not in the mood,” I told her running my hands through my hair.

“No that’s not it, what is it.  Tell me the truth,” she said staring at me with daggers.

“I think I might have majorly messed something up,” I said thinking of Cecily again.  Why couldn’t I get this girl out of my head?  How come her tear streaked face was embedded in my mind?

“What did you mess up?” she said slanting her eyes at me like she knew I had something to hide from her.

“My friend, I think I might have ruined what we had,” I sighed but what exactly did we have?  All I knew is when I was around her my heart raced and she made me do things I would never do, hell she made me get jealous of my cousin and a fucking dead guy!

“Is it that Cecily whore?” she snapped at me

“Don’t. You. EVER. Call her that again,” I sneered at her.  She looked at me like she was staring into the face of a monster.

“How could you talk to me like that?!” her eyes watered but I knew better to believe her act, she was heartless.

“Stop acting Valerie,”

“Are you cheating on me?” for a second I thought I actually saw real hurt in her eyes but it was gone as soon as it had come.

“You know exactly what this is Valerie,” I said through clenched teeth.  She knew this was strictly casual when she agreed to “date” me but now I wasn’t so sure if it was going to work out.

“But I never thought you would leave me for an ugly immature girl like her!”  She screamed standing up and bringing her enraged face to mine.

“First of all Cecily is beautiful and caring and smart and strong; everything you’re not,” I said standing up my anger flaring now.

“Well you must have found me attractive to sleep with me all those times,” she said pushing me towards the door.

“It was only ever physical, you’ll never be her.” Did I really just say that?

“If you think so highly of her why don’t you get out and go date her then!” she said enraged

“Maybe I will then!” I said.  These words I had no control over just kept flying out of my mouth.  The look on her face was of pure shock, did I really like this girl that much?  I don’t know but I knew I had never felt this way before and I didn’t know if I could fight it any longer.

“Do you really care about her that much?” she said, her voice becoming a whisper.  My mind flashed to a picture of her smiling then lying next to me in bed.

“I- I don’t know Valerie,” I said letting out a shaky breath and running a hand through my hair.

“Get out,” she whispered and took a step away from me.  I just stared at her as her carefully placed walls broke down, did she actually care for me?

“Get out,” she screamed again this time tears started slipping from her eyes, my breath caught maybe I was wrong about her.  I moved to open the door but before I slipped through the opening I looked back at her one more time.

“For what it’s worth, I was wrong- a part of me really does care about you,” she just stared at me with a blank look tears still streaming down her face.  I walked out closing the door and our twisted relationship with it.

Hey guys, this is Danielle.  

It's my first time doing one of these and I'm not really sure what to say, how do you like the book so far?  As you can see things are about start really heating up between Cecily and Eirie.  Are you guys excited?  I sure am!  I'm tryin to post more since I get really busy and just forget about stuff, can you believe I left this book alone for a whole YEAR. I know sad, but I was crazy busy but now I'm back and I'm commited to finishing it out.  So guys comment below saying your favorite parts, what you expect to happen and so forth.  I'd love to hear from you guys!  Should I do more of these little chats/ info updates -clicks tongue- or nahhh. LOL but seriously let me know and oh yeah ask me questions if you have any (about the book, my life, anything really) I'll answer them to the best of my ability!    

-Thanks guys stay beautiful.