The Diary of A Sad Teen

Suicide

I'm trying so very hard not to think about it... suicide. I've been trying to convince myself that I'm truly happy but I just can't convince myself, I can't feel any emotions I'm just numb I guess. I hide behind fake smiles and laughs, long sleeves and long skirts.

This year I have plenty of friends in my class, yet I still feel lonely. I'm spaced out from the others and I don't know why. my last cut was 3 days ago as I said before, I'm trying to convince myself I'm happy, I'm not lonely, I'm not suicidal and I don't need to cut.

But I do, I need to. and right now the only thing that's been keeping me alive is 'Motionless In White' -my favourite band.

I'm tired of life, just an endless route.

The days go fast, I float around school and get dizzy a lot am I hallucinating?

I've been smoking a bit lately.

Stop. stop. stop.

I'm trying to stop all this bullshit but I just cant, I need to, I need to feel pain. just another troubled kid.

I don't know what to do anymore. this life is endless unless I kill myself.

Nobody would care,

Nobody would cry.

I was close to jumping in front of that car the other day, my troubles would be crushed and I would be happy once again. confused and dazed in this land of sadness, why am I here? do I have a reason? in lonely, yes. I try not to think about the sadness that drowns my head I want out of this dark, dark world.

I'm not good enough, I'm never good enough. I constantly look at myself in the mirror in disappointment, fat, ugly. I truly am sad inside but I don't want to admit it, people think I'm fine but in reality my head is full of suicidal thoughts and death.

I'm empty, a soulless body that hangs around this broken town.

Just try not to miss me when I'm gone,

Because someday I will disappear,

Forever into eternity,

Just know, I'll be much happier.