The Diary of A Sad Teen

Notice Me For Once

One day I will end it all.

Tonight?

Tomorrow?

In a month?

In a year?

Things are getting worse.

Well, they were getting better, it's just my depression has hit me again... really badly. I'm so down, I'm so freaking sad and I don't know what to do.

I relapsed tonight. I was nearly a month clean. who cares anyways, right?

I miss the old days when I was happy, when I was with my family. but I've been torn.

I've said this a thousand times that I'm sick and tired of feeling this way.

I have no medication to stop this sadness, because everyone thinks I'm fine, I paint a smile on my face EVERY single fucking day. and it hurts that nobody knows who I truly am. But I guess it's good in a way.. I don't know. I'd probably be known as the 'emo' girl or 'Depressed little shit' <- I don't know, something like that.

I'm trapped in a world thy I don't want to be in, I'm trapped inside a body that's disgusting.

I just want to be pure again, to be lovely.

I could end it all tonight but I choose to fight, and I'm afraid I'll give up tonight. I'm not afraid to die, but a little afraid of what comes after.

I don't know what to do!!

Please somebody notice the pain I'm in, look into my eyes and see the sadness in my eyes. because oh my fucking god I'm so depressed and suicidal every day but I choose to smile and hide it and not complain because of you and y'know you don't even care so what's the point?

Can't you see I'm sad?

Or are you that fucking dumb.

I need someone.

---

I really don't want to go to school tomorrow, it's Monday. Mondays the worst. I'm really not emotionally stable to go to any of my classes but I'll have to! I can't get out of them, I'll just breakdown after each class, I'll just fail every thing .. because I'm pro at failing.

At being a daughter, a student.

I'm tired.

And I hope one day you realise I don't want to be alive.

Because one day I will have killed myself.

And you were too late.