The Diary of A Sad Teen

Black and White

My life's black and white.

Same days, same weeks, same months.

Nothing changes.

Black and white.

Behind my smile is a cold and blank surface.

My scars are fading, and it's saddening to watch them disappear in front of me.. I'm not me. I've changed and I don't know who I am.

I don't know my emotions,

I'm smiling but am I really happy?

I'm frowning but am I really angry?

I just want to give up, but I cant and I don't know why.

I'm a failure... at everything!

All my exams I've failed, I've failed at being a daughter and I've failed at life in every possible way.

Paranoia's haunting me, there's no escape from the voices.

I need to be saved from myself.

I'm my own enemy, my own threat.

I'm surrounded by darkness, I am the darkness.

I notice once I walk into a room I darken it And make it gloomy, sadness follows me and fills the air around me. choking me, suffocating me.

I'm emotionally unstable for school, for every thing, I've relapsed this past week and I just want to stop, I want this pain to go away and stop haunting me.

Why can't I just be dead?

The air is thick, smothering me, fogging up my blue lungs... or am I drowning?

I'm blue, I've been feeling blue.

I've got a heart of steel, because of those days when I cared to much.

I'm nothing.

I'm lonely.

I'm empty.

I'm always empty, but why? why me? what has caused this painful emptiness?

~~~

Hey guys.

I was wondering if you all could read my fan fiction of my favourite band, it's called 'Ghost in the Mirror' and I would really appreciate it if you voted.

I only have around 40 reads so it would mean a lot if you read it.

Thanks,

I'll be fine, just not today, I've been feeling extremely gloomy lately, but don't worry, I'll be alright.

Ily guys x

-Lauryn

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