Paper Cranes | Park Jimin

30: Fools

I did not have any doubts nor have I thought twice when I had messaged Jimin, telling him straight up that I didn't want to see him. And when I had crossed paths with him, I had pleaded for him to stop approaching me.

It was like a knife directly pierced through my heart—even my soul. But my emotions had all ran out, I was exhausted to even dwell on it.

A week later, gossips about the incident still hadn't ended, and news about Jimin and Chaerin breaking up only added fuel to the fire.

I couldn't help but feel like everything was a complicated mess that never should have happened. I should've listened to Taehyung.

Jimin and I should have never actually gotten acquainted in the first place. I shouldn't have agreed with his crazy ideas. I shouldn't have went home late that day and never approached those kids selling paper cranes on the streets.

I had so many regrets, but what could I do?

The screen of my phone lit up, and I reached for it at the edge of the table.

Unsurprisingly, it was a message from him. Despite my plea for him to stay away, he still bombarded me with messages. I wouldn't lie that I had been reading all his messages. Most of them were about his day, how he felt, his frustrations and so on. I probably was so stupid since it just pained me more, reading them but keeping my answers to myself.

So once again, I read his message.

Haneul just hear me out. PLEASE

And then another came.

I have so much to say. I want to personally say it.

Followed by another.

I'll be waiting at the store. I won't leave until you come. I don't care until what time I have to wait. Please. Just this time.

I tossed my phone back on the table and shook my head.

"You're not going to meet him, Haneul."

I focused on my books instead, though never in my existence had I thought that studying would actually save the life out of me and my mentally and emotionally draining thoughts.

So study was what I did.

I had pushed myself deep and immersed too much with my books and revisions that I had allowed a distraction only when my stomach grumbled, ordering me to feed it.

That then, was how I ended up eating and watching Angel Beats in my living room, bawling my eyes out even though I hadn't watched the entire thing. The spicy noodles weren't helping with my nose crying either.

After recovering and cleaning up, I went straight to bed.

But at two in the morning, I found myself staring blankly at the ceiling. I wanted to sleep, but for the first time in my life, my eyes weren't budging.

I would probably had lost my mind if I would confess that I was thinking of barging out of my apartment right now and head off to the store.

And perhaps I had completely turned mental for running out with only a long sleeved shirt and pajamas with my bunny indoor slippers. It felt like déjà vu, except that this time I was on my freewill.