Paper Cranes | Park Jimin

12: Uninspired

I'd like to deem myself as someone who managed to get work done well under pressure. Like, I could pull an all-nighter and finish a requirement the night before it was due.

And I totally wish I could say the same with my digital art requirement for my major subject, due in two days from now. However, that was far from the actual situation.

I am six feet deep in hot water.

"My mind is too stubborn to not use red and pink. It's literally telling me those colors just have to be the base."

"Oooh, red. Sounds like the color of anger," noted Hira.

"That's the thing, I'm not angry. Why would I want red? And with pink?" I told her with a shrug, staring at the two colored pencils on my hand, rolling them to and fro.

"Isn't pink the color of love though?" Jungkook chimed in. "And red doesn't just equate to anger. It could be of a strong feeling. Passion. Desire. It could be positive or negative, unlike how most people see it."

"Genius," Hira remarked noncommittally. "Sometimes I forget you two are art students. Can't relate."

That same afternoon, I dropped by the library in hopes of getting ideas and inspiration. A change of environment might help as well. Who knows, maybe something would spark in my mind and rev up the rusty engine of my brain.

I surveyed through the endless towering aisles, grabbing books I found interesting and thought might be helpful. I wasn't exactly certain if this would do the trick, but there's no harm trying.

"That's a lot you have there, are you looking for something in particular?" A deep voice caught my attention, making me snap my head swiftly at his direction.

He had an open book on his hand, while his elbow was using his other hand for support, and judging by his demeanor, I assumed he had talked to me without even tearing his attention away from the book.

I couldn't tell if he was a student or a professor due to the aura he carried. But he sure appeared to be a wise and respectable person.

"Oh... uhm," I paused, suddenly feeling intimidated. I blew on my fringe, shaking the hair away from my face since my hands were occupied. "Just looking for ideas."

For the first time, our eyes met and surprisingly, he smiled at me, dimples popping on both sides of his face. I smiled back and instinctively bowed my head.

"Ideas, I see," he mused. "You see, the human mind is a set of cognitive faculties. Consciousness, perception, judgment..." he went on, and I nodded my head, intently listening to him.

"It holds the power of imagination, recognition, and appreciation. Also then being responsible for processing feelings and emotions, resulting in attitudes and action. Ideas differ from one person to another based on what their perspectives are, and those come from experiences and desires of expression about those. People might not know it but it's more likely that the subconscious mind pushes people to come up with something that they might find rather complex and wonder where it could have come from..."

Right at that moment, he was already lost in his own thoughts. I wanted to keep up with where he was heading to, and I totally believe he was making sense. But there was too much to process, and before I could get on one thought, he was already off to a different universe.

"Ideas don't come just because you want them to, they appear at times you don't expect," he said, still in his own world.

"Yes, I totally agree with that," I responded and smiled dryly. My eyes trailed off to the books around us in search for a way to get out of this, surmising that there'd be no end. So I then randomly pulled out a book from the shelves.

"OH! I think I found the right book!" My sudden exclamation that came off rather strained silenced him. He eyed the book cover and that was when my face flushed of scarlet.

"Oh?" He sounded rather surprised, and intrigued at the same time.

I mentally smacked my head and broke in an awkward laugh, bowing my head as I went past him, hugging the books to my chest so tightly.

"Thank you for the helpful words," I mumbled, keeping my head low in embarrassment. My guts felt ticklishly empty and I silently weeped.

I threw one last look over my shoulders and the guy waved at me with the same gentle smile, and then he was back to his book.

I heaved a deep, deep sigh, dropping the stack of books on the table and slapped my forehead.

Sex, Or the Unbearable.

Although a philosophical book, he'd probably get the wrong connotation as to why I would use this book to get ideas.

I dropped myself on the chair and buried my face on my palms.

Surely, it wasn't like we'd ever cross paths again, and there was a thin chance that he'd even care but... I patted on my cheeks and composed myself again. I shouldn't invest so much thoughts over a little matter!

With one last shake of my head, I huffed out the weight in me. Now... back to my attempt of being productive.

Whilst going over the books, I jotted down some possible concepts to use that would match with the pink and red that my mind insisted that I should use. Maybe when I get home, I'd sort them out and probably squeeze something to give my creativity wings to fly and save me before I fall.

Perhaps I'd been too absorbed that I didn't notice the time until my phone lit up, showing a message notification of some random property investment.

7:18PM, read the time. I had been here since 5PM.

I stuffed my pens and notes to my backpack and stood up, organizing the books. A yawn escaped my lips as I stretched on my toes. My back felt stiff whilst I carried the books to the return tray beside the librarian's desk.

With the help of the books, and some of the guy from earlier's words that I understood, I was able to piece up something. Though I wasn't that much confident about it.

At least my attempt to be productive had not been totally wasted.

On my way home, I paid attention to my surroundings, the street lights illuminating the sidewalks, cars filling up the roads, people either strolling or rushing. That was when my eyes landed on a certain person standing in front of a food stall—The third guy from the left.

There was nothing that made him stand out in particular, but he for sure caught my attention. I wasn't certain if it were the lights and the moonlight reflecting on him that made him glow. But he looked surreal. And his pink hoodie just made me swoon, like inspiration hitting me in a synapse.

But my admiration was short-lived. Someone suddenly pulled me by the arm and covered my mouth just before I could scream.

Damn, I almost finally have an idea!

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❝if you haven't seen hoseok's reaction when namjoon said he's sad because the other members aren't fluent in english, then you should watch their interview with clevver tv. there's so much shade lol❞