IN MY QADR (Wattys2016)

Heartbeat

Chapter 20

Laying Bilal down on my bed, I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water for myself and Zaid as I hadn't offered anything for him to eat or drink since he came, if Ami was here, she would surely be disappointed and would have become a crazy desi mom. As I walked back into the living room area I see Zaid flipping through the T.V, he sees me and gives me a smile as I give him his glass of water.

"Sorry, I forgot to get you something to eat or drink when you came cause you scared me"

"No, don't apologize I did eat before I left and we will be eating sehri too so it's all good. And yaar I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I promise I'll be careful next time" He says looking right at me making me accept his apology and hold on to his promise.

"Zaid, I know I don't know you for a very long time but in this short period of time you have become really close to me, you have a part of you in my heart and without you this heart will be more broken. You know when Abu and Ami left I promised myself I'll always be strong and never let anyone close to me feel pain but when I saw you standing outside the door soaking wet and knowing there was a storm going out there, I was really scared and tensed thinking of all the things that could have happened. Zaid, I don't ever want to lose you....just the thought of not having you makes me go crazy. So please for my sake don't ever do anything like you did. If something like this happens the next time please just stay at the office till the storm stops...please" I tell him not looking at him cause I know if I do look at him, my tears will fall without my permission and I'll break down in front of him. I felt Zaid moving closer to me and taking my one hand in his and with his other hand making me look up at him and as soon as I looked at him at his eyes I could see a swirl of emotions going on in there that's when tears started making their way down my face and instead of saying anything Zaid cupped my face and wiped my tears and slowly pulled me into a hug. The hug is what I needed at this moment, I needed to know he is here and by me. He stroked my back and whispered slowly "nothing will happen to me unless Allah swt wanted it to and with you here I'll always be here. Inayah, for me you don't have just a small part of my heart, you have the biggest part of my heart. Yeah we sure don't know each other for very long but '50,000 years before the sky was introduced to the sea, Allah swt wrote down your name next to me' and since then our souls have known each other. Now my beautiful princess, stop crying cause your husband doesn't like seeing and being the reason behind his princess crying" He said moving back and giving me a smile making me smile as well.

"You sure do know how to work with your words, don't you Mister"

       "I sure do, Princess"

The rest of the night we spent sitting and watching T.V till the clock hit 11pm when a yawn escaped from me. "We should sleep, we got to wake up for sehri too" I told Zaid and he nodded just then it hit me, where will Zaid sleep? I mean yeah he is my husband and all but you know I never shared a bed with some guy even though he is my husband. Sensing my inner battle Zaid spoke up and said he will sleep on the couch but that wasn't right and the couch wasn't that comfortable so I just told him to follow me. We reached my bedroom and I told Zaid to be quiet by placing my finger on my lips as Bilal is sleeping and slowly whispered that my bed is big enough for us three to fit in. I told Zaid to sleep on one side of Bilal while I sleep on the other side that way he sleeps comfortably and so do I, he seemed hesitate at first but then nodded while I went and put my phone on charge not before putting on alarm clocks to wake up for sehri and heading to my side of the bed. I turned around to see Zaid getting in slowly trying not to wake Bilal up, that made me smile cause if he wanted he could have gotten in anyway he wanted but he kept quiet and laid down. I turned to my side and closed my eyes but after a while I heard Zaid calling out my name making me turn around to look at him. I asked through my eyes what's wrong but instead of answering me, he got out of the bed and came to my side and said "Inayah, I'm ummm scared to sleep next to Bilal" that got me confused why is he scared? "Actually Inayah that thing is Mum said that I move a lot in my sleep and like put my hand around whatever is around me and I don't like want to hurt Bilal or wake him up so ummm is it okay if like you sleep in between me and Bilal please?" I wanted to laugh looking at Zaid's nervous face yet I felt really happy that he cares that much about Bilal. That is what I always wanted in my husband, I wanted my husband to always care about my siblings and Zaid with the smallest thing is doing that. I just smiled at him and nodded. Getting up I moved Bilal a bit over to where Zaid was previously and scouted in letting Zaid take my place. After we were all settled in I slowly put a hand around Bilal just to make sure he doesn't fall off the bed and turned my head to make sure Zaid was comfortable and then noticed how close me and Zaid were to each other and Zaid was looking directly at me to make it a tad bit less awkward I asked him what he would like for sehri? "Honestly I don't mind anything. I usually just drink some water and that's my sehri so you don't have to make anything special for me" wait did I hear him right? Did he just say all he has for sehri is water? "You are joking right? You do eat something right? Cause mister you can't just go the whole day with some water in your stomach?" I questioned him but all he said was he prefers just water for sehri. "Well now that is not happening you are going to eat something well for sehri. I usually just make rotis and we eat it with mango pulp then drink some lassi and cause it's going to be Mahira's first fast she wants to have banana shake too so I'll make you that as well" He looked at me shock and asked me "so you are going to wake up and make all that? Won't you be like sleepy and umm cracky?" His question made me smile and I slowly turned my body towards him and I answered "I'm use to it. After their death I took up the responsibilities of many of the things and this is just well one of them. Normally I prefer not to sleep till fajr is over but I just felt like relaxing for awhile today" He just kept looking at me and then leaned in to give me a kiss on my forehead making me smile. "You know I'm proud to have you as my wife and inshallah from now on your responsibilities are also part of my responsibilities, now get some rest" I smiled and turned back toward Bilal but soon felt a hand being laid across my waist and stopping at my stomach, I felt the same ting I feel whenever Zaid touches me. He soon pulled me closer to his chest and I could feel his breath on my neck, I tired to move away but he just held on tighter and whispered "my dear wife, I did tell you I like to put my hand around whatever happens to be near me and right now my beautiful wife is next to me so if she doesn't mind I'll like to sleep like this" surprisingly I didn't mind his arm around me in fact it made me feel safe, it felt like whatever I wished for was right here with this man. I just simply nodded knowing that at the moment I can't talk. "Inayah, you are the best thing that has happened to me and I'm blessed to have you in my life" I heard Zaid whisper in my ear and that's when I turned around and wrapped my one arm around his and snuggled into his chest "same with me Zaid, you are the best thing that could happen to me and I'm way more blessed to have you in my life" I felt Zaid moving till he was straight on his back with my head pressed into his chest and after that no words were exchanged just me hearing his heart beat and finding home with his arms around me. 

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Finally an update after foreverrrrrr! Yaaaaaaay!!! Hope you guys liked this chapter and the book so far. So sorry for well being so absent in writing this just had alot going on, won't promise you guys daily updates or anything but inshallah will try to finish this book in like 2-3 months. Hope everyone's ramadan is going well