Sometimes, as I already told you like a billion times, I want to kill myself. I attempted to cut my thighs a lot of times and I never could.
I hate that I had to lie to my closest friends and it hurt me. Now they care, now that they know.
The problem is that I don't want to hurt them either, because once that I cross that line, once that I really take something that cuts, they won't be able to save me. Because they have no Idea of what I feel.
And I wonder what should I say when I'm in the limit, Say that I'm fine? Lie to them with a simple "I'm Okay"? Well, I'm not and I'm not supposed to lie to you as you shouldn't lie to me, Right?
One day, I woke up lazier than others days. I was right, I always ruin things. I can't keep living, I'm over.
I felt like I was dying, I knew that feeling very well and it isn't pretty at all. I hate to be like this. Those are the feeling that make me want to die.
Sometimes I think that I should've never told him or anyone anything about my past, I should've never been confident to them, I should've just threatened them like they were anyone else.
And there's the other problem, they are nice to me, they care, they really care about what happens in my mind because they don't want to lose me. They love me, they think that I'm good. They take care of me and distract me from all the shit around me, they care more than my parents.
They are the reasons, and they know it, of my "I'll keep living"s. Just for you guys.
I'm grateful that you got my back, AA.
YOU ARE READING
Moving On
Fiksi RemajaAmy, it's just another troubled teenager, but she is actually different from anyone, in her new town in her new school, even in her new orchestra. At first, she only wanted to fit in, but she realized that it was almost impossible, because she is ve...
