If I Fell

~49~

10th November 1964

The road was busy, the streets jammed and I was tapping a beat on the steering wheel 'hurry up, hurry up'.

I had time, hours really but the electricity charging through my body propelled my mind forward, wanting to be ahead of myself, there already.

The lane beside me started moving and when it was clear I merged, getting snotty looks as I did so. I could just hear them all tut tutting 'impatient fancy car drivers' . 

I was used to it now. While Mini had major repairs, some mechanical recall on the motor, I took Aston the Martin out. Out to Pattie and Maureen's homes, the studio and even into hectic Saville Row if need be.

I was now on an unknown route, I wasn't speeding, I made sure of it even getting honked at when I slowed down for a lorry.

No, you heard correctly- I wasn't mad, I wasn't impatient and I wasn't in need of speed. And boy the Aston Martin was born for speed, I tell you. If it was to be an animal it would be a cheetah or a racehorse, no that's Georgie's Ferrari or a ummm, panther.

Freda had arranged a surprise, asking Mister Epstein to sort out a seat and a place for me to meet him in Bristol, it was about one hundred miles, maybe three hours, but I got to let Paul and John drive back with me to London!

My first actual concert!!

Freda had cackled when she realised, Helen was mortified; even she'd been to one. Freda, bless her bobbie socks, was insistent to Mister Epstein about my attending, wanting everything perfect for me to go.

West of London, I hadn't driven the road myself but upon looking at the map I plotted the route and left the page of the atlas open on the passenger seat. I felt terrified and brave all at the same time, but the car was safe if I drove properly, not in 'Pee your Pants Paul' style. I should call that the 'Triple P' of driving for short.

Driving to stay in one piece, that's what I intended to do. I left Cavendish Road at 8am, hours upon hours before the show.

My destination was the Colston Hall in the near centre of Bristol and I was over half way there, stopping for a bite in a café in Swindon I was refreshed and ready for the last part of the trip, my mission to arrive at 4pm at the The Hatchett, a pub on Frogmore Street, just near the Hall. Far enough away from the concert crowds that would be building steadily in size, and close enough for Mal come fetch me.

Hopping back in the Martin, letting her idle to warm I then swept further through the town to find the other side and beyond. Firstly though, I found myself in the midst of local traffic and daily life, I let the car trot along with the procession.

Intense heat hit me first, then stabbing pain in my arm, I wiped my face, I was wet.... The car was wrapped tightly like a can around me and I heard yelling then saw people running, pushing and shoving, a truck was right in on the bonnet and I smelt sawdust, smoke and oil, no oil and petrol, I wiped my face and looked through my lashes at red streaks on my cut hand. A man was suddenly stood beside me but aren't I in the motor?

"'Miss" He was yelling, I reached for the window winder but my shoulder wouldn't let me "Don't move miss, cover your eyes. I'm going to smash this window"

"No don't break it!!" A million shards of glass rained over me, Paul's lovely car I bemoaned softly, a flame licked at my shoe and I pulled my foot as far back as possible the man tugging all the while on the door beside me, not getting anywhere. Arms held a knife at my throat I thought hazily and I struggled disorientated and scared, so scared, my seat belt was cut and fell away, the heat pushed forward and upwards towards me but it was no good, I sat dazed, unmoving, held tightly by metal.

A fireman was leaning over me, beer breathe and yellow mac, talking but a loud humming rang in my ears, it  took over. Dizziness washed my senses and I tried to push the fireman away as I reach for my concert ticket tucked in the console. The ticket Freda had given me the previous afternoon.

They lifted, pulled, yanked. And someone screamed and she sounded like she was in awful, painful, distress. My eyes bled tears as the screams emitted.

My shoulder was grasped tightly and crumpled under firemens fingers; and then, all I saw was black.